Sunday, September 18, 2011

Nerdery & Hot Men: Something For Everyone.

So, I finally saw Thor today.

Before we get to the nerdy part of this post, a little something for my readership:

HELLO CHRIS HEMSWORTH AND WELCOME TO MY TOP FIVE.





This seems to be the most widely distributed shirtless photo.
I would be failing you if I didn't include one.
It's a still from the movie. If you couldn't tell.


Let's revisit the Top Five, shall we? It's been adjusted a few times.

1. Ryan Reynolds (always)
2. Josh Duhamel
3. Chris Evans
4. Chris Hemsworth
5. Either Bradley Cooper or Robert Downey Jr. (Say what you will, I heart RDJ. I don't care what you think.) (This list still needs some tweaking, apparently. Decisions, decisions.)

Ok, so. The movie.



All I knew about Thor going in was: Thor, god of thunder. (Also, that his weapon of choice was a hammer.) (That somehow ended up in the New Mexico desert, thanks to the post-credits teaser clip after Iron Man.) I'd heard that Loki was involved, and obviously I'd heard of him. God of mischief. I'm better with my Greek mythology than my Norse mythology, and quite frankly, the only any knowledge of the Norse pantheon was what I'd picked up from Neil Gaiman's American Gods a few years ago.

The other thing I knew was that it had gotten positive reviews. From the sounds of things, everyone had gone in with equally low expectations and come out absolutely adoring it. And we all know how much I love me a good superhero movie, so now that Thor has made its grand arrival on DVD, I could get caught up* on my Avengers puzzle pieces.

*I still have not seen either of the Hulk movies. I suppose I should, I just haven't had the interest. I know the general storyline (who doesn't?) and from what I've heard, neither movie was all that great. It doesn't help that they've recast that role with every movie. That's generally never a good sign.

I'm far from being a movie critic, I can't tell you if this was a "good" movie or not, so I will tell you that I enjoyed it. Some parts were a little to CGI-y for me (seriously, people. We've come a long way on this. I have SEEN movies where the CGI looked, well, not so CGI. I know you can make it more realistic. I know you can. I've seen it. I have faith in you.) but overall, it was very visually stunning. It was very well-cast, and despite the large presence of S.H.I.E.L.D., it didn't feel like it was feeding directly into the upcoming Avengers movie. It probably helped that S.H.I.E.L.D. was actually doing something constructive that fit into the plot.

I figured we were off to a good start when it opened with Natalie Portman. She generally doesn't make bad movies. (We'll cut her some slack on No Strings Attached, because after the soul-wretching experience that I am sure Black Swan had to be, I don't blame her for wanting to do a fluff movie.) I was a little surprised to see her in a comic book movie, but whatever. She's adorable and I'm not complaining.

I won't get into the rest of the movie too much, mostly because I'm sleepy and am not really up for it, but I was kind of impressed that it wasn't entirely predictable. I had a hard time figuring out what Loki's endgame was, and I thought I had it figured out by the end UNTIL I watched that little post-credits clip, which, I'll be honest, left me confused. I don't know if they plan to sequel-ize this? Can they do that, with Avengers right around the corner? What is going to happen to all of these individual franchises once that hits? Are they going to be able to go do individual stories again or are we going to be inundated by Avengers sequels from now until the end of time? I'm sure the stories are there. I just don't want them to do what they do with anything else: drive it into the ground until there's nothing left. (Pirates of the Caribbean, anyone? Transformers? Final Destination? Saw? Land Before Time? All of those movies could have stopped after the first one and the world would have been fine. Any time you get to #4 or #5 or #6, it's probably a sign to STOP because you have SUCKED THE WELL DRY. Except there is always an audience for everything, and the money is still there. STOP FEEDING THEM OR THIS WILL GO FOREVER.) Where was I... ah, yes. Ambiguous end clip is ambiguous. Maybe it makes sense if you've, I don't know, read the comics, but for the rest of us... it was just kind of a WTF moment. To be fair, I was really off my game today. I TOTALLY did not realize that that was Anthony Hopkins as Odin until, oh, just now when I was googling some imagery for this post. I'm a bit unsettled by this, because I'm usually pretty good at that actor recognition. D'oh.

ALSO!

Despite the fact that I am pee-my-pants excited for The Avengers, I've perhaps grumbled a time or two about how not all of the Avengers have gotten their own movies. I still don't know what the story is on the Black Widow or Hawkeye. Hell, I'd never even heard of Hawkeye and had no knowledge of him whatsoever until the movie posters started appearing. At least Black Window had quite a bit of screen time in Iron Man 2... though I still don't know her backstory. This still annoys me but I've come to accept this.

So after we finished watching Thor, we watched the "Road to the Avengers" clip that was on the DVD and they showed a quick shot of Hawkeye and I was like HOLY SHIT HE WAS IN THIS MOVIE I JUST WATCHED AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. I guess I should have. I mean, his scene lasted approximately five minutes, if that, but they did seem to place a bit more emphasis on him than the other guys at the S.H.I.E.L.D. complex... and the fact that he was going to shoot a fucking bow rather than using some sort of gun should have registered something, but nope. Not until they showed the actors being introduced at Comic-Con and flashing to clips of them in character did the lightbulb go off. I completely geeked out and about fell off my chair. HE WAS RIGHT FUCKING IN FRONT OF ME. So, I guess I can't complain that he hasn't shown up anywhere yet, because I was all set to believe we wouldn't see him until The Avengers, but... five minutes does not an explanation nor backstory give. I don't know anything about his story either. In fact, all I really know is that the two people who did not get their own movies apparently already worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. as all this is going down.

I don't know. All of our Avengers have been accounted for, I guess.

MOVIE POSTER TIME:


The poster(s) that were released at Comic-Con. Here's the link if you want to see closeups of all the individual panels. WHICH I KNOW YOU DO.

And you know what? For all the kick-ass posters I've seen over the last however many months, at this current moment, they are all escaping me. I can't find anything that seems official and not amateurly photoshopped together and slapped up on DeviantArt. *grumble*

Oh, look, someone was nice enough to put this together for me - some of our Avengers. I forgot to grab the Tumblr link to credit it, so... thanks, whoever.


I don't know enough about Jeremy Renner to much care, but, well, it's nice that they included him, I guess. Even if by some miniscule chance this movie turns out to be a suckfest (it can't be, I refuse to believe it)... there will be plenty of beautiful men onscreen to stare at.

This also confirms my new theory that no one else really cares about the Hulk, either.

[EDIT: Apparently it's Hemsworth not Helmsworth and I'm very angry at Google for not properly correcting me on this. D'oh.]

2 comments:

chimes said...

i definitely think bradley cooper is top 5 material. you could do top 5 under 40 and then over 40 ... RDJ is on that list for me. :) It's too early to come up with 5 for either, so here is 3.

Under 40 (of all time)
1. Marlon Brando in his 20s
2. James Franco
3. Jake Glylanhall (SP?)


Over 40
1. Johnny Depp
2. Brad Pitt
3. Robert Downey Junior

Germana said...

!!!So many hot men!!!! I have yet to see Thor, I think my BF will probably make me watch it, and that's fine because of Chris Helmsworth <3

PS. My captcha phrase to enter for this comment to post is "kwoody"....hahahaha! I imagine I will get a "kwoody" from watching Thor. ;)