I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that it's October. I mean, I can look outside and see all the leaves changing colors, which quite simply makes my heart happy, and I can almost see that the temperature is going to be a bit brisk. It's hoodie weather. It's boot weather. It's scarf weather. It's layering weather. For the first time in however many years, I can layer for warmth or for cuteness instead of layering to hide my fat, self-conscious self.
On that front, I've been letting myself get a bit lax lately. I've been hovering right around the same general weight range, so it's not like I'm undoing all my hard work, but I've definitely let myself get stuck. Last week I lost 1.2 pounds... this week, I gained the 1.2 right back (like, exactly. It was kind of creepy.) I don't know what my deal is, because I've been doing sooo good, but I guess I'm in a good place right now where I'm allowing myself to indulge a little more. I mean, 30 lbs is a lot. So I'm not going to beat myself up over a half pound here and there. I need to get my shit together though before the holidays show up because those will ruin me. Kind of like this glorious pumpkin spice latte that's sitting right in front of me right now. It's the season of deliciousness and I have no willpower.
I've also gotten a bit lazy about working out. (Who's surprised? Nobody? Yeah.) I really need to get back to TKD before they, like, take away my black belt (can they do that? I hope they can't do that.) I've just had too many scheduling issues and when something gives, it's always that. Fortunately, I've still got softball for a few more weeks, so that's something. Because if trying to corral a bunch of ten year olds isn't a workout, then you just go ahead and tell me what is.
I'm feeling a little bit better about the fall softball season... something clicked on Saturday and while we still lost, we suddenly were doing okay. I'm fully convinced that if we had gotten to have another full inning, we could have pulled it off. I needed that. The girls needed that. My sister came down to help me coach since my regular assistant was otherwise occupied (I swear, I've only seen her like three times) and I really wish that she could be my full-time assistant because we worked really well together. I mean, for starters, we grew up playing softball together so we've had the same training and the same mindset and the same philosophy, but, hi. She's my sister. We kind of "get" each other. I think the girls really liked her too. I need all the allies I can get at this point. I've got three more weeks ahead of me and I'm hoping to finish on a note of Not Failing. Wish me luck.
In other Not Fails, despite my extreme skepticism about rejoining the world of online dating... I kinda met someone. He seems pretty cool. And he has the link to this blog which has rather compromised my ability to talk about it. (Which was really an unfair trade because he never updates his. Ahem.) That's all I'm going to say for now because I kind of enjoy keeping this to myself for the time being, but... I was starting to feel like I was keeping secrets from you guys and the guilt was starting to get to me. ;)
Lastly, my mother's OCD took over and she came and cleaned my apartment. Or at least the bathroom. And then she terrorized my kitty-cat with the vacuum and it was all sorts of traumatic and anyway my apartment looks super great right now so this pleases me. I give it about a week or so before I junk it up again. Because someday I will end up on Hoarders. Or, like, mini-Hoarders. Hoarders Lite. I'm not that bad, I swear. I just can't get rid of anything. You never know when you will need it again! And it's fiscally irresponsible to re-buy something that you once previously owned! Right? Anyway. I just need to clean my kitchen and my bedroom and I'll be all set. (Did I mention that she moved to my general geographic area? She did. Which I had mixed feelings about but it's actually been kind of nice in no small part because she's finally starting to recover from that shitty emotionally-oppressive relationship and is starting to seem more like herself again. So there's that. But mostly it's nice to be able to re-connect with her, just her, without the crazy relationship drama and all that.)
Also it's nice out today and I just want to run away with my pumpkin spice latte and sit outside and read or write or nap or something that's not Being Confined To A Desk. First world problems, yes. I have them.