Saturday, November 5, 2011
At Least My Blogging Is On Track
So, here's a NaNoWriMo update, in case you were wondering.
It's Saturday. I've been actively procrastinating. (This is my new term for the times when I deliberately fuck around on the Internet, as opposed to the "oh, I'll just check facebook quick and oh, I should see what's happening on Twitter and oooh, maybe there's new pins on Pinterest I need to see" and suddenly I've lost an hour.) For the story that I started on November 1, I have written exactly 106 words. I have forced a plot to come together in my mind, I have established the three main characters, given them names and personality traits, and a vague idea of what happens to them.
I have not written any words beyond the very introductoriest of intros.
At this particular juncture, I am way off pace to finish the month on a "story from scratch." I could knock my word count down to 40,000 and maybe get there, but truth is, I actually like the story idea, and I don't want to force it. I want it to work itself out a bit more naturally so that maybe when I'm done, it won't be a total piece of shit.
I've got myself psyched out, too. I gave myself some massive performance anxiety on October 31 and had a hard time getting started.
So here's what happened instead.
During one of my periods of active procrastination, in which I was fucking around over on Cracked, and hopping from one article to the next (as one does, as that site is a virtual black hole for wasting time), reading one of the history-based pieces, something suddenly clicked in my head and I had a grand revelation for the story I'd started earlier this summer. A pivotal part of the story, actually. The part of the story that I could hinge my entire premise around.
That's big, right?
I wanted to work on that story instead. I tallied up the words I'd written for that one (not counting my vague chapter outlines which will likely get tossed at some point anyway) and I'm somewhere between 8000-9000 words on it. Which is kind of a nice head start, even if it's only a fraction of the overall story. But I know where I want to go with that one, what needs to happen, and, shit, how it ends. I have the beginning and the end and a few pieces of the middle. I'm willing to bend the rules of this whole novel-writing business, and I'm willing to stamp a disclaimer on it that I had 8900 words written before November even started. (Besides, that pretty much catches me up for the four days that I totally did fuck-all on.)
Part of me wants to stab myself in the neck and scream YOU'RE CHEATING! WHERE IS YOUR INTEGRITY, YOU WORTHLESS HEATHEN?! and, you know, that part has a bit of a point. The other part of me is like FUCK OFF, AT LEAST I'M WRITING SOMETHING AND THE POINT IS TO WRITE SOMETHING.
So, there's that.
I don't know. I'm either going to write a bunch of garbage to try and force Actual November Story into being, or I'm going to pick up where I left off with the story that I've been trying to tell since summer, and use NaNoWriMo as an excuse to make myself work on it.
What do you think? Is that reasonable? Is it cheating? My conscience kind of really wants to know.