Friday, November 25, 2011


Yeah, totally not going shopping today.

I had some inkling of an idea making fun of Rebecca Black today (Friday... Black... Black Friday... GET IT) but I couldn't quite make it work, despite all the memes floating around out there. Way to let me down, Internet.

Hope those of you that went shopping didn't get trampled and that you managed to snatch some things away from the crazy soccer moms. That would be the only reason I would go. I would scoop up all sorts of shit I didn't want, just to cause drama. Then I'd plant it around the store and someone would find it around 11am and get super excited and victorious because JACKPOT. They'd look both ways with beady little eyes, clutching the ten-dollar camera to them, and a surge of adrenaline would rush through them. I'd be like Robin Hood. But with stuff people don't really need.

Protip: sweep the store around 10 or 11. This actually does happen. When I worked at Target we had a fresh batch of cameras and whatever other cheap shit we were selling again at that time because people changed their minds and/or we found them around the store. Because it's too hard to actually return items to the proper location. SHOVE 'EM IN WITH THE TOWELS.

Anyway. Blah blah some commentary on rampant consumerism and greed and something else blah blah I don't really care that much this year. Also no comment on the fact that everyone is opening at midnight this year and encroaching into Thanksgiving. Honestly, if I were the type to battle crowds in the name of cheap shit, I'd prefer it that way. I'm so much better at staying up late than I am at getting up early. Plus all the old ladies will be droopy and tired from being up late and I'd leap over them all and snatch it all up. Hide yo' cameras, hide yo' televisions. 

But, there's nothing that I want bad enough to deal with that many people, and my sister and brother-in-law usually go shopping and I can usually pass along a request or two and sometimes they'll hook me up. I kind of want a cheap Blu-Ray player and my BIL is headed to Best Buy anyway. Fingers crossed.


Mindy said...

Yeah, a request or two.. or eleven. :)

Ginny said...

I have never and will never go out on black Friday. Not worth it. We are smart.

The Phoenix Rising said...

I just a did post on this myself. Not my thing. You would not catch me dead out on black friday.

terra said...

You couldn't pay me to go out in that madness. I once went to the mall while on vacation in the middle of the day on Black Friday and that was awful enough. People bring pepper spray to that shit now. I'll stay home and sleep. Or drink.