Friday, December 9, 2011

Fuckery Roundup Friday (TM)

The world is a jumble of fucked up and I don't even know where to start these days. So I'm making a bullet-point list. Everyone loves bullet-point lists, right?

1. Rick Perry

Just STFU already. God. I am not linking his extremely pro-religion, anti-gay ad because it doesn't need anymore views but just thinking about it makes me angry. Firstly: OH THE POOR OPPRESSED CHRISTIANS, they can't pray in school or say Merry Christmas. You know what would happen if they started allowing prayer in school? People would be out with torches and pitchforks if Muslim students tried to pray. Because the only religion that is acceptable is Christianity and BY GOD we are going to force-feed that down everyone's throats. Christmas, for the record, has become a rather secular holiday. It's based on a pagan feast, for Pete's sake. Jesus wasn't really born in December. Historical fact. The point is, whoever decided that Christmas would be a Thing, decided to piggyback onto the winter celebrations so that the heathen pagans would be more amenable to the idea of it. So for all of that, I say, fuck you, Rick Perry. Separation of Church and State. Let's keep it that way? As far as your boo-hoo-ing about gays in the millitary... I don't even have words for that. Who the fuck cares?! If someone is willing to sacrifice their life to go defend us - even nutjobs like you - then they are a goddamn hero, plain and simple, and it makes no difference what their sexual orientation is. Also, the fact that you are so blatantly hateful makes you the worst possible presidential candidate in the history of ever and I hope somebody punches you in the face.

Remember that time the South decided to secede from the Union? Maybe we should let them do it again. And all the assholes can go live there and make their own crazy-ass rules and all the normal, sane people can stay in the North and everyone will be happy, the end.

2. SOPA

This still pisses me off. I think, hope, it's losing momentum because anyone who has been paying attention is up in arms about it, but I don't know. It's hard to keep up on it because it keeps getting buried under all the other fuckery that's in the news these days.

3. Michelle Duggar

It's called a condom, kids. I'm not saying that a miscarriage isn't incredibly sad and tragic but maybe it's your body telling you that you should stop.Nobody needs twenty kids. Nobody. NOBODY.

4. Fox News


If I didn't hate them enough before, I do now. Blatantly making shit up... what the fuck is this fuckery?! I mean, it's one thing to present a skewed and biased view of all current events, but when you start fabricating things, you should lose your journalism license.

"The Constitution has no Article 28, has no Section 144, and does not contain the language quoted. The Constitution actually contains seven articles, none of which have more than 10 sections. It also has 27 amendments, none of which contain anywhere near 144 sections."


Oh! ALSO! THIS: Claiming the Muppets are communists. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THEY ARE PUPPETS FOR GOD'S SAKE. MUPPETS. MUPPET PUPPETS. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU THAT YOU ARE SO HELLBENT ON BRAINWASHING YOUR BAND OF IGNORANT FOLLOWERS INTO A PANIC ABOUT YOUR KIDS BEING MANIPULATED BY A BUNCH OF FUCKING PUPPETS. I HATE YOU AND THE AIR THAT YOU BREATHE.

5. Justin Bieber and contemporary Christmas music.

Whoever has that song that's just "Fa la. La la. La la." I want to burn their house down. I'm including Justin Bieber because I hate him and I am blaming him for all of society's problems. I just want to punch that smug little bitchface of his. I can't wait until he hits puberty and goes the fuck away.

Also the bullshit that passes for holiday music these days. Seriously. You are ruining my life and my childhood and any fraction of holiday spirit that maybe I've been able to muster, ever. BAH FUCKING HUMBUG.

6. The attack on peaceful protestors, especially in the Occupy movement.

They're not being violent, they're not being hateful, they're just exercising their Constituationally-given right to assemble and KEEP YOUR PEPPER SPRAY IN YOUR PANTS because you are an ABOMINATION AGAINST THOSE WHO SWORE TO SERVE AND PROTECT. Seriously. What.

7. The fact that the world is going to hell in a handbasket and I kind of hope the world does end in 2012 because my head will probably explode before then anyway because there is too much rampant fuckery and hatred and what the fuck did we do to get ourselves into this mess? FIX IT. FIX IT NOW.

'Nuff said.

Tomorrow I will post things that I don't hate. Just for some balance in the universe.

7 comments:

Jenn said...

Totally agree on the Fox News and Rick Perry and the dumb political idiots and all that. I'm still not sure how I feel about the Occupy thing though - obviously the pepper spray can get a little out of hand and I support the right to protest, BUT... I draw the line at breaking the law. At least in Atlanta, the city's ordinances prevent folks from being in parks after a certain time and no permanent structures are allowed to be there, and the occupy people have caused a lot of damage. Not to mention they're costing the city money because the police have to patrol and protect... It just seems a little counter-intuitive to their message. Their message isn't one of my hot-button issues though, so maybe I just don't see why they can't protest from 6 am to midnight, go home and sleep, and come back ;)

Kelly L said...

Right? Get an itinerary and a schedule and reconvene in the morning. Makes sense to me.

Tori said...

Wait. Michelle Duggar had a miscarriage?

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian said...

"Also, the fact that you are so blatantly hateful makes you the worst possible presidential candidate in the history of ever and I hope somebody punches you in the face."

TRUTH.

chimes said...

ughhhhhhh totally agree w/ rick perry. seriously. I'm too lazy to read the fox news thing. I just know I don't like them, so I'm guessing that's what you said too.

Also, people who have more than 4 children in this day and age should be required to have a flipping hysterectomy. Seriously. Nobody needs to spread their genetics that far and wide. The people who should don't.

If you miscarry after having 19 children, it's likely your uterus is trying to retire.

Megs said...

So, um, Jim Bob actually called my branch manager to get permission to burn stuff the other day.

Also, I'm pretty sure Michelle Duggar's doctor told her before the 19th kid that she needed to not have any more. I guess they are real dedicated to their beliefs, but I kind of wish they weren't from AR.

Kandace said...

I can't even expand on anything you just said. Except I 2nd this. awful and hate and punch people in the face (esp biebs) and FIX and etc.