Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Do You Believe In Magic?

I do.

Not the Harry Potter sort of wand-waving, spell-chanting magic. Though that would be pretty bad-ass.

I'm talking about the kind of magic that makes your soul sparkle, makes you so completely happy that you feel like like you're full of bubbles and you're just going to burst.

Okay, that sounds cheesy. But it's the best I can do.

Last May, I got on an airplane, headed to a city I'd never been to, to spend the weekend with 57 people I'd never met before. Up until recently (story pending!), it was the bravest, ballsiest thing I'd ever done.

I'd watched Bloggers in Sin City from afar in 2010, I'd even gone to the site, and I chickened out. I reasoned that I couldn't afford it and I wasn't a real blogger, not really, I would never fit in, blah blah blah. Then 2011 rolled around and I hovered over the site. I shut my computer, I came back to it. I argued with myself about all of the reasons I shouldn't go...

...and the reasons I should.

Finally I punched myself in the face (not really) and signed up. I was riding a high for several days, until I started to freak out about what I had actually gotten myself into. I alternated between nerves and excitement for the next five months, not really knowing what to expect.

And it was everything I never could have imagined.

I'm not going to re-hash the entire experience. That's what this page is for.

I did make a lovely image collage, though. FEAST your eyes. FEAST, FEAST I say! It took me damn near 3 hours to make this thing.

Click to embiggen. 
Full size is 11x17 or something stupidly large because I totally plan to print this out as a poster. Booyah.

Also, I totally stole this idea from Doni. She said it was okay.

And you're like, yeah, that's great, Kelly, so what?

Sooooo... I just signed up to go again this year and I'm pee-my-pants excited. I don't have any of the nerves and doubts and misgivings that I had last year. I feel like that little piece of my heart that I left behind last year will be waiting for me on the other side. I'm just itching to tackle-hug everyone I met last year and to meet a whole handful of new people that so far appear to be equally awesome. (I mean, maybe not equally - my inaugural batch of BiSCuits will always hold the most special-est of places in my heart, but there is room for more!).

You're not surprised by this, are you? You shouldn't be. BiSC was the most amazing, and yes, magical experience of my feeble twentysomething life. After last year's trip, there is no way I could have possibly imagined NOT going again. The price did go up from last year, but I'll be honest, Nicole could have been all “...and I will need your left kidney” and I would be all “LOL OK AND HERE'S AN I.O.U. FOR MY HYPOTHETICAL FIRST BORN” and sign up anyway. And she could have been all "...and we're just going to sit around and stare at each other for three days" and I would be all "CAN I WEAR SPARKLY THINGS? WILL THERE BE HUGS? THEN I'M IN."

Shit, we could be having this little get-together at a Holiday Inn in Des Moines and I'd be psyched. Granted, if it were in Des Moines, it would probably have to be called something like "BLOGGERS STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE" (BSitMoN), but at least I wouldn't have to shell out for a plane ticket.

I digress.

My POINT is, I was unfazed by this turn of events, because it meant that more stuff was included, so I didn't have to worry about being shell-shocked by $25 brunches (again) and whatever, it didn't matter, BiSC has my heart, and who am I to argue with love?

I mean, at first I was like, “oh shit, Ramen” and then I was like, “OH SHIT, CROCK POT, BAM!” and THEN I was like, “WAIT A HOT MINUTE, I'm going to be in Atlanta for work, where my food is covered, so I WILL NOT STARVE AFTER ALL” so basically it was fated for me to go because finances = manageable. I just filed my federal taxes yesterday (there's something in the state ones that is giving me pause and a potential rant, so I'm holding those for now) but my refund should cover that and my flight anyway. I mean, no, I haven't had a tab open with my preferred flight choice from Priceline for three weeks now, why do you ask?

Registration was last Monday while I was in Atlanta and holy shitballs those spots went fast. Like, it sold out in less than a week. So if you were hoping for a spot, you'll have to jump on the waitlist and do a better job of paying attention next year. Fortunately, I was able to get back to my hotel room after my shift was over and get signed up with 17 spots to spare. I then promptly spent the rest of the evening stalking all the people I didn't know yet, and creating new Twitter and Reader lists so to help make my stalking more efficient.

BUT! Here's the awesomest part. Paper'd, the new app by the amazing Shatterboxx ladies, is giving away a FREE spot to BiSC. Which means someone is getting their registration fee refunded. And sweet baby llamas, I could use that money back (which, of course, I would promptly turn around and spend IN Las Vegas, but that's neither here nor there.)

What's Paper'd? It's a sweet wallpaper app which makes me rather sad that I don't have an iPhone or iPad or even a Droid (though I think maybe they are doing laptop wallpapers too, in which case, I can play too!). Though let's be real. It's only a matter of time before I break down and GET an iPhone. I'm just biding my time and budget.

Here are some screencaps I took from their teaser site, just to give you an idea of how sweet it is going to be:


So, to recap: 2011 was awesome, I signed up again for 2012, Paper'd is giving away a free spot and this post is technically my entry and I hope I win but even if I don't, I don't even caaaaare because I'M GOING TO VEGAS MOTHERFUCKERS. 

Okay, maybe I care a little. I could really use that money back.

I'd probably buy an iPhone with it.

Financially responsible, I am not.

Guys, I am so excited. Not only are a lot of my favorite bloggers returning for another round, but there are some cool new peeps that have signed up which means MOAR FRIENDS and since I will be a gazillion times LESS nervous this year, I really have nothing left to do but since and bounce up and down until May.

The question now, of course, is how many items I can find with glitter and sequins between now and then because you can bet your ass I am going to leave a trail of sparkle in my wake. Because it's Vegas, and because I can.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Feeble Half-Post.

Sometimes, I think if it weren't for the fact that I'm a complete attention whore and need to direct you to my food posts (Hawaiian Chicken! Over on Twenties Hacker! Go!), I would completely hide from my blog. Because there are a lot of things I want to say and post and then I either get overwhelmed and avoid it altogether, or, I chicken out because I don't want to talk about My Feelings.

It doesn't help that all the posts I wrote a week or so ago are all sitting in a Word document on my laptop that I'm not currently on. And of COURSE I can't post anything until I post the things I've already written. Or, something.

I'm such a dork.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Friiiday, Friiiday, Fun Fun Fun

Instead of focusing on the stuff that kind of sucks today (it snowed, it's about five degrees outside, I ate an entire roll of Thin Mints for breakfast), I'm going to tell you about stuff that is awesome.

1. I got my W2s today. I always get irrationally excited about these. I got my 1098 or whatever form it is for student loan interest so all I really want to do tonight is go home and file my taxes. I'm counting on my refund to pay for either Vegas, the plane ticket, or ideally, both. If I have a LOT leftover, I'm going to chuck it into savings and let it reproduce and then maybe maybe maybe finally buy an iPhone. My trusty Blackberry is getting old and cranky and I can't get any apps for it and sometimes the rollerball will only scroll up and not down and if I'm going to be paying for a data plan, I may as well do it for a phone that can actually do stuff.

2. I may have also purchased these.

Now, I'll be honest with you, a pair of red boots really wasn't on my list of things I needed. (Boots, in general, though, are my new love affair. At the trade show in Atlanta, I was forced to watch an endless parade of adorable boots and it only magnified my lust.) However, they're for part of my costume for this year's adult charity prom, which is... SUPERHERO themed. I about peed my pants when they announced it. I've always secretly wanted to be a superhero. So now I have a legitimate reason to dress up and pretend.

But yeah. Red boots. I guess now that I've bought them, I will have to wear them more than just that once. Maybe I'll take them to Vegas. I dunno. If you can't wear red boots in Vegas, where CAN you wear them?

Just kidding. I'm going to wear them all the time. Because I can. Maybe I'll even wear red lipstick with them, too. Just to be as bold as possible.

3. I also bought the aforementioned Prom tickets today. And by tickets, I mean ticket, because I always fly solo. I mean, my friends go, but I've never bothered with a date. If I was seeing someone, I would of course require him to come along, but I'm not, and it would be kind of a drag to have to occupy myself for the evening with some dude that I'm only "meh" about when I can be dancing like a drunken fool with my girls. And, yes, prom is probably the only time you will catch me on a dance floor, with the exception of the occasional wedding.

4. Okay, that's mostly it, but I think those are suitably excitement-inducing enough to hold me for now. Also, BiSC/Vegas, but that will get its own post. Naturally.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I'm Back, By The Way

Hi. I briefly disappeared again, as you may have noticed, though not intentionally. My bi-annual trip to Atlanta for work kind of snuck up on me and I didn't have time to arrange for guest posters to keep you entertained while I was away. I hope you found other means of entertaining yourself. If not, I worry a bit about you.

I am so far behind that I now have a document full of half-written posts and notes and reminders and omg I don't even know where this surge of inspiration came from because like a week ago I was all EFF THIS NOISE IMMA GO PLAY VIDEO GAMES except that's totally a figure of speech because I actually do not own any video games, though at one point I was going to get a Wii and then never did. Which... has nothing to do with anything other than I hope you get my general point of blog avoidance and now all of a sudden BAM, bloggopalooza. I mean, shit, I posted two pertinent things already before I could even write this post saying "hi I'm back" so it's really kind of pointless because OBVIOUSLY I am back, I have posted twice this week already.

(Also, HELLO to any new BiSCuits reading this, I'd like to promise that I'm not normally this spazzy, but that would be a complete and total lie, so... yeah.)

ALSO-ALSO. GUYS. Before I forget. I had a new post on Monday over on Twenties Hacker for some crockpot lemon chicken. I realize I should be saying “slow cooker” instead of “crockpot” because that's like calling all tissues Kleenexes because Crock Pot is technically a brand but whatever. I'm in love with it and I don't care what I call it because I'm quite certain you all know what I mean. Right? Right.

OKAY SO I am going to bed now before the crazy takes over too much further. I only have a slight lingering separation sorrow over the pillows and fluff-tastic comforter from my hotel in Atlanta, but it's nice to be back in my own bed and to be able to STAY here for a while. (Atlanta and Phoenix were separated by maybe three weeks, if that. Maybe it was only two. Either way. I'm relatively stationary until May, when I shall be in Vegas, of course. Not counting any potential weekend trips. Or the quickie business trip I think I have in March to Indiana. WHEN DID I BECOME SO FABULOUS? I don't even know.) (Also, I need to actually TELL you about both Atlanta and Phoenix, so stay tuned for those as well. YOU SEE HOW BEHIND I AM?!)

What was I saying? Yes, sleep. Good night, bloglets.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Lights Out.

Today, Wikipedia will go dark for 24 hours in protest of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA), which both threaten the nature of the Internet as we know it today and give the government entirely too much censorship power. (You can read my previous post on the subject here.) (You can read Wikipedia's official statement here.)

The way these proposed laws work is that anyone who holds a copyright can claim that a site is infringing on their copyright somehow, and that site gets shut down. No due process, no investigation, just flip a switch, goodbye. It will use the same censorship technology used in countries like China and Iran - technology that we were supposedly outraged about because it's so totalitarian and undemocratic. (Irony, I think they call that.)

Quite frankly, I think of all the sites I use on a regular basis (including this one) - I'm not sure there'd be anything left. Just a wasteland of pixels and memories. No blogs, no Pinterest, no Twitter, no Facebook, no Tumblr, no memes, no anything. Just a void. We'd be setting the clock back twenty years and stunting any future development. All ideas are built off other ideas. The Internet was meant for sharing and for satire. This law frowns upon sharing and satire and any idea that might be slightly derivative of another idea.

I've heard rumblings of other sites joining this protest, and quite frankly, I hope they do. I know it will cause a lot of inconvenience for that time period, but I think it needs to happen. I almost wish it would happen for longer than a day. I also wish the whole Internet would go down. People need to understand the ramifications of these bills and how fucked they really are. I heard a rumor that SOPA got shelved, but I've been unable to confirm it with a second source... and PIPA is still out there, and it's not much better.

Honestly, I think this is probably one of the most brilliant protest strategies I've ever heard of. People need to know how it will affect them. You think one day is bad? Wait and see what happens if these bills pass. It won't be ONE DAY. It will be permanent.

I don't even want to think about it anymore. I don't have much anger left, just a deep and profound sense of fear and sadness, mixed together. I also have hope. I have hope because people are realizing the magnitude of this, and speaking up. I have hope because people are paying attention. I have hope because there's a chance that, just once, we might be able to bring down the corporate machine.

For once, the government system that was set up "for the people, by the people" - might actually listen to the people.

And that victory would be bigger than any of this.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Your Facebook Status Will Not Cure Cancer. Especially If It's Not Even About Cancer.


I got another one in my facebook inbox today. I shall paste it for you below. Your challenge is to tell me HOW this raises awareness for breast cancer. Or how it raises awareness for anything, for that matter, other than the remarkable human ability to buy into groupthink and blindlessly follow the leader like a pack of sheep.

Also, tell me if I'm wrong, here, but if the whole point is to raise awareness for a cause, wouldn't it be sort of counterproductive to keep what you are doing a secret from half the population? You're generating confusion, not awareness.

So, really, if you want to just play a little facebook meme game, fine. Just don't slap the words "breast cancer awareness" on it and pretend like you're doing anything any good or noble. We're all aware of it. You want to help out with breast cancer? Go participate in a Relay for Life event. Go give some money to someone doing some research. American Cancer Society. Susan G. Komen. These guys right here in my backyard (incidentally, who my company donates to with our breast cancer product proceeds). They're doing some great stuff but they need money. They don't need stupid facebook statuses.

Okay pretty ladies, it's that time of year again...support of Breast Cancer Awareness!! So we all remember last year's game of writing your bra color as your status? Or the way we like to have our handbag handy? Last year, so many people took part that it made national news and the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we're doing this and helped raise ...awareness!! Do NOT tell any males what the statuses mean...keep them guessing!! And please copy and paste (in a message) this to all your female friends! It's time to confuse the men again (not that it's really that hard to do ;]) The idea is to choose the month you were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the GIRLS ONLY and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went around all over the world. Your status should say: "I am going to________________for___________ months."

The day you were born should be for how many months you are going.

February-- London
April—Dominican Republic
June-- St Peters burg
September--New York
October - Amsterdam,
November - Las Vegas,
December - Alaska

What. the. fuck.

I'm going to New York for 23 months, guys.

To cure cancer.


And now I remember why I do what I do every day. Because the merchandise that I help create, and pour my blood, sweat, and tears out over (okay, mostly sweat and tears, but sometimes I get papercuts too) - we're raising money to help fight cancer. I don't care which cancer. Any of them. We get one, we'll get the others. I like to think it's like the spaceships in Independence Day. You figure out how to destroy one, and you tell everyone else, and pretty soon those bitches are going down in flames.

Cancer, you are our alien spaceship. Once we find our Will Smith, you're fucked.

But seriously. Girls on facebook? Stop it. Just stop it. There are better ways to spread awareness and get shit accomplished. I promise.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Stuff and Things.

I've been feeling rather uninspired lately. And by uninspired, I mean uninteresting, and by uninteresting, I mean I've been reading too much lately and thus feel as though everything I write is shit. However, the only way out of that phase is to just fucking write something until the words seem to work again, so, here we are.

I finally returned to taekwondo last night. I've been avoiding it. In the summer, it was unavoidable, because I had too many conflicts with my softball coaching duties and so I told myself it would just be a short break. I came back a few times, now and then, feeling more inadequate and rusty than the time before. The first time I tried to return after a hiatus, I felt like bursting into tears in the middle of class, I was so... behind. It was like learning to walk all over again and I couldn't do it. It was terrible and I just made it harder by not going back. I coached another team in the fall, effectively taking me away from class for another couple months. And then it was the holidays, or I was busy, or I conveniently had to work late on nights there were class, or I oops lost track of time again. I was avoiding that starting-over point because I knew it was going to suck.

But I made up my mind. It was something I enjoyed doing, and I had made some really good friends there, who were all nagging me to return, and I knew it was either now or never. If I didn't just fucking pick up my shit and GO, I was never going to. There were too many excuses, but I was running out of them.

So I went.

I was more nervous before last night's class than I think I was over two years ago when I started as a newbie little white belt. But my muscle memory was amazing. I was rusty, sure, but for the most part, my body remembered what to do. The best part was, a lot of my bad habits and mind-blocks that I had before? I forgot those right along with all the stuff I was supposed to remember. Bit by bit, it came back. Not once did I want to cry. (Always a plus, right?). My balance was a bit shaky, but my form and movements were solid enough. It also didn't hurt that I'm carrying around a lot less weight than I was the last time I'd attended class on a somewhat regular basis. (My original uniform pants fit! YAY!). I even stuck around for the weapons class and picked up on the nunchucks fairly quickly. I used to have quite a bit of dexterity with my hands (FELLAS), as I once upon a time was a flag-twirler for our high school marching band. (Oh, God, I need to find some pictures.) #ThingsYouNeverKnewAboutMe.

Yeah, I hashtagged my own blog post. What of it?

So that felt pretty good. It hurts to extend my arms all the way, but overall, I'm not even too terribly sore. Which is good, because I'm getting ready to leave on a work trip and I'm going to be on my feet all day and moving around and I'm getting tired just thinking about it. At least it will be warm.

Unlike here. Where it finally snowed.

Ugh, you guys. I was loving our extended autumn. We have been so fucking spoiled and I've been desiring a good meadow-frolic because it's been in the forties on a regular basis and it's JANUARY in IOWA and this is so bizarre. But, right now, the wind is howling so hard I'm a bit worried about the structural integrity of my apartment (hyperbole alert) and it's snowing and miserably cold and I want to make little voodoo dolls of everyone that's been all "I want snow!" and then stick them in a snowbank. WHY? WHY do people want snow? I do not understand. There is nothing enjoyable about this, at all. The ONLY enjoyable thing about this is that I get to escape it for a week and head south.

And then, AND THEN, I came home, and there was a mysterious book-shaped package waiting for me. And I was like, "oh sweet!" and then about half a second later I was like, "wait... I haven't ordered anything recently due to the Hoarding Of All The Funds For Vegas and Christmas and the what not..." and so I ripped open the packaging and behold! A copy of Tina Fey's "Bossypants." CUE EXCITEMENT. Short-lived excitement that gave way to extreme confusion, though. "Did I buy this? I don't remember buying this. I know I was GOING to buy this, but I didn't, and... and... No, I didn't buy this OH GOD WHERE DID IT COME FROM THERE ARE MAGICAL BOOK FAIRIES AND THEY LOVE ME." I scoured that damn packing slip for some sort of clue and there was NONE TO BE HAD. I even went to Amazon and checked my order history to make sure I hadn't randomly purchased it and then forgot about it. (Actual thought that went through my head: "WHAT IF I AM SLEEP-SHOPPING AND BUYING RANDOM STUFF FROM THE INTERNET?!")

(This is highly unlikely if for no other reason than that once I am asleep, I am ASLEEP.)

So I posted to facebook and Twitter about my random good fortune and resigned myself to a fate of not knowing. Which, dear bloglets, if you know me at all, you know that I must know everything, and that would be a most torturous fate, indeed.

I sat there and pondered to myself. Where could this book have possibly come from? Did someone know I wanted it? Did they find it on my Amazon wish list? How else would they have known that this was something I needed in my life? (For real - it was the last book I was going to allow myself to buy this year before I cut myself off and forced myself to catch up on the books I already have. That, and The Bloggess's book, when it comes out. BUT THAT'S IT.) Or am I just the type of person that someone would be like, "hey, I think I should send her Tina Fey's book, because she's the sort of person that would enjoy Tina Fey's book, because Tina Fey is awesome and she has good taste so clearly she would love Tina Fey's book" or some other such convoluted nonsense. My mind travels in weird ways. I really shouldn't dictate them out loud. I should really delete this paragraph. But I've taken the effort to type it so you're going to be stuck with reading it. And that's what we call a dictatorship. Blogtatorship. Whatever. I don't know.

I'm totally trademarking that word, by the way. MINE.

But then! My mysterious book benefactor revealed herself because, well, she sucks about as bad as I do with keeping secrets. If I had pulled off a random act of kindness - or, as I retorted to someone's facebook comment, a random act of AWESOME - I would be kind of giddy with knowing something they didn't know and watching their reaction. I love seeing people's reactions when nice things happen to them. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Even if I'm not the one providing the aforementioned nice things. But moreso if I am. I like being a harbinger of nice.

Anyway. I am reserving one very large tackle-hug for the day when I finally get to hang out with this harbinger of awesome, who I am not naming so she can feel like she succeeded in her quest for random awesomeness even though she totally outed herself. I will also find some way to pay it forward to someone else. I smell a blog giveaway in the future.

So, that's my last 24 hours in a nutshell. I know, you've missed me 'round here. SUCH RIVETING CONTENT.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Aww yeah.

I am the champion of holiday binge eating, y'all. I finally went to go weigh in for the first time since before Thanksgiving, and I was only up 2.6 pounds. Which was pretty exciting because the fucking scale at the doctor's office told me last week I was up 7. NEVER TRUST THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE SCALE, GUYS.

Anyway, I was pretty psyched. I didn't do nearly as much damage as I thought, despite how shitty I've been eating and how lazy I've been.

Also, I've changed things up slightly with the column this month. Instead of yet more baked goods (which, I'll admit, are my favorite), I'm switching over to something more practical: crockpot recipes. Granted these are pretty damn easy so it's less of a "how to make this" and more an analysis on if the recipe actually turns out any good (or whether it just LOOKS good from the Internet, which was kind of the entire premise behind my column anyway). I mean, really. There's only so many ways to say "chuck it all in the pot and turn it on." Plus! These are going to be healthier. PLUS! It will save me money because I will have multiple meals and not have to eat out. Which is great because I'm still recovering from the holidays. Financially. Because, as we've already established, I somehow managed to skate by relatively unscathed, weight-wise. Though some days it sure as hell doesn't feel like it.

So, this week, we have: cilantro lime chicken. It's quite tasty. You should try it.

I'm going to go back to hibernating now.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

We're Nice.

1. Holy shit I am so behind on posting. Last Monday, as I totally neglected to share, I had a new post up for Orange Creamsicle Fudge over on Twenties Hacker. That shiz was goooood. So I need to get it out of my apartment as quickly as possible. Preferably not by eating it.

2. The Iowa caucuses were last Tuesday which I'm sure you heard all about but I'm not going to really talk about them other than YOU'RE WELCOME because Iowa shut down both Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann for y'all. So there's that.

But as you may well recall, my beloved state always gets a ton of attention every four years or so, some of it quite asinine (and I had started another post about it before I went on vacation so I'll post that soon too because I'm sure you totally don't even care anymore). Anyway here is an awesome response piece that was circulating on the facebook. Link is here in case I fuck up the embedding somehow.

PS - not only was the computer invented in Iowa, but at my alma mater of Iowa State University. Holla. (We also invented rice krispie bars. You're welcome.)

3. I don't really have a Point 3 but it felt like too short of a post to only have two things. So, FILLER FILLER FILLER HOORAY.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

This was supposed to be posted three days ago.

Some people wake up on New Years Day covered in glitter. I woke up this year covered in cat hair.

My life, you're jealous of it.

2011 had a nice symmetry to it. I rang in the new year buried under blankets in my bed, waiting for the digital readout on my alarm clock to hit 12:00 so I could fall asleep. I ended the year curled up under blankets (and a cat) on my couch, a nap gone awry into a longer sleep (hey, I had just gotten home from a week in Arizona - I was tired!). But it was a nice bookend to start and finish the new year alone in my apartment.

A lot happened between January 1 and December 31. I claimed once that 2011 seemed to be the year of "new" - new things, new opportunities, new friends, new experiences, new places, new 30-pounds-lighter self. I feel like making the bold proclamation that 2011 was one of the very best years of my life. It had its ups and downs, sure, but overall? It was perfect.

I have decided that 2012 is going to be my year to simplify. To cut out all the unnecessary shit in my life. Whether that be people or - ideally - the amount of sheer junk that's cluttering up my apartment, I am going to learn to say no, and to let go of the things I don't need. I have a lot of momentum going from this past year and there's really nothing I want to "improve" upon, per se. I just want to streamline, economize, get everything under control, and maybe tread water until I'm recharged and ready to kick some more ass in 2013.

I'm not going to make a list of resolutions (shall I pull up the list I made for 2010 again? So we can snicker and point and laugh about how I STILL haven't unpacked those last few boxes from my last move?). They all get broken anyway. I might jump on board with Katherine's brain-child of 12 Changes - making one small change per month that will gradually build into life habits. I haven't made my list yet, but I'm sure it will be things like "put X amount into savings each paycheck" and "make a point of exercising X times per week" and "eat more vegetables" and whatever. But those aren't resolutions, they're lifestyle changes. (Speaking of which, I should probably haul my ass to a weigh-in this week... I cringe at the thought of what the holidays have undoubtedly done to my waistline. The holidays, of course, being code for "point-counting has become tedious and exhausting and I needed a break dammit." Potato, potahto.)

I have started being mildly productive, though - I've instituted a new Closet Policy of "wear it or get rid of it." I SHALL BE RUTHLESS. Maybe. I'm genetically programmed to be a hoarder. We'll see.

Stay tuned for my obligatory summary of what 2011 contained to make it so great. In fact, stay tuned for a barrage of posts because I have fallen behind and started like six of them and they ALL NEED POSTED.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

We Have Some Serious Business To Attend To.

Oh, my lovelies. It's been so long. Do you know where I've been? I've been on VACATION. I know. It blows my mind too. It was wonderful and vacation-y and you will hear more about it soon, but first, a couple important points of business.

1. In case you weren't diligently checking Twenties Hacker this week (tsk, tsk), my post from Monday was probably my favorite one - it's the one for the sugar cookies my family always made every year when I was growing up. I know I'm incredibly biased, but I think these are the best cookies ever on the planet. And now that I've taught you how to make them, if you should ever desire to be in my good graces, all you have to do is present me with a plate of these bad boys and I will forgive you whatever you may have done wrong.


This contest was probably my greatest source of amusement in quite a while, so thank you to everyone who participated and/or voted. I might do it again next year, I think. (Yay or nay?)

A quick recap of the entrants:

Without much further ado, the person taking home this bad boy:



For those of you who care about such things, 2nd place went to Stacey and her harem of sweater-clad men and 3rd place went to Tori and her mad MS Paint skillz. I don't have prizes for them, but, you know. Pride and what-not.

IN THE PET DIVISION, here were our entries:

And the winner is...


I don't have a sweet-ass trophy for him, but I'm going to find a best-in-show ribbon or something. Or maybe I'll get him a doggy bone. I don't know. I'll consult with his mama.

2nd Place was a two-way tie between Shasta and Oly, and 3rd place was kitty-bros Dino & Pookie.

I need Carolina and Barney's mama Calee to email me with where they want their $10 gift cards to. Addresses would be helpful also.

Congrats, ladies and gentledog!

Meanwhile, I'm going to attempt to make something and write a post for 20s Hacker for tomorrow... right now. DEDICATION, PEOPLE. I HAS IT.