Wednesday, April 25, 2012

IDK, my BFF Jill?

Does anyone else remember this commercial
Because I randomly quote it all the time and I feel like nobody actually knows what the hell I'm referencing.

I have heard horrible, horrible things about Jillian Michaels. Her name has been cursed far and wide, and while I broke down and bought myself a copy of the 30 Day Shred, it took me about a month to take off the cellophane and another couple to buy a pair of hand weights, and probably six months before I finally stuck the damn thing in the DVD player and actually tried it. I was terrified of it, and of not being able to move for days afterward, and I rather rely on my mobility in my daily life. [Note - I went over to Amazon to grab the link and it told me I purchased it on May 1, 2011. I HAVE HAD IT IN MY POSSESSION FOR ALMOST A YEAR. Le sigh.]

(Speaking of Amazon - I'm really kind of sad that I don't have that affiliate thinger off to the side anymore. Or maybe it's somewhere else. I am really hating this new Blogger interface. Apparently I can link things to Kohls now, though? That's weird. But okay.)

Turns out? I'm probably one of the few people in the world who don't hate Jillian. In fact, I actually kind of like her. Sure, there are moments where I want to collapse onto the ground and never ever move again, but her style of drill-sergeant tough-love "fuck you, I'm Jillian Michaels, you will do what I say" motivation is basically exactly what I need. Or what I can relate to. Either way, I'm not sure, but it doesn't bother me like it apparently has bothered everyone else that's ever told me about it. Like, I get where she's coming from. I understand why she tells us to do what she does. And I don't think she's mean. Maybe that means there's something weird about my own personality, but I actually am kind of.... enjoying this.

I KNOW. Something is wrong with me.

The cardio in the first circuit is usually the point where I want to give up. All the jumping, I don't know. It's hard. It's especially hard when you're already sore, or if you've come from softball practice (oh yes, I'm quite the BAMF - an hour and a half with a gaggle of middle-school girls and then I come home and torture myself with Jillian. WHERE IS MY COOKIE?! Oh wait, that's what got me into this mess.). The abs section is almost like sweet, sweet relief, because you get to lie down on your mat and not move quite so much.

I've actually turned it into a verb. To Jillian. (Example: I texted the BF earlier and was all, "I'm trying to muster up the energy to Jillian.") Once I was done Jillian-ing, I then declared myself "Jillian'd." I feel like Gretchen Weiners trying to make "fetch" happen. JILLIAN WILL BE A VERB. Come on people, are you with me?


Anywho. I'm using probably the pissiest hand weights on the market, but I'm basically starting from scratch here. (Everywhere. I'm starting over. When I went to weigh in last Thursday, she looks at the screen, then looks at me, and asked me if I wanted to just start over again. To which I said yes. Because I'd much rather start with a clean slate than see a gain of twenty pounds on my card.) I've got little to no upper body strength and I'm in terrible shape. The first round of cardio on Day 1, I though I was going to die. And then I didn't. And I was like, "hey, I can do this." By the third circuit, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Yes, it sucked. Yes, it was really hard. But my determination overrode everything else, and dammit, I DID IT.

Tonight was actually my third day in a row. Which not only is impressive because I've been getting more and more sore with each subsequent day (stairs suck right now. Which sucks even more because I not only live on the second floor of my building, but my desk is on the second floor of our office. Sigh) but because I've never stuck with anything this consistently before. Yes, I know, it's only been three days. And I'm not sure I'll have time to squeeze it in tomorrow, and I know the only way I'll have time Thursday is if I get up early and do it (HAHAHAHA) and then I'm out of town all weekend, soooooo yeah. I'm going to ride the momentum for all I can, though.

And, quite frankly, doing the damn workout helps stretch out said sore muscles and I can sort of move again. Until I'm done. Then I want to collapse again. I'm surprised I made it through my shower tonight.

I don't know where I'm going with any of this, other than: I am very, very surprised at how much I do not hate Jillian Michaels... and that I have yet to swear at her (I mean, I've perhaps uttered some swear words during this particular endeavor, but they were not directed at her) and I actually find that I am - dare I say it? - enjoying the 30 Day Shred.

We'll see how I feel once I move past Level 1. Hah.

In other news: I have nothing but disdain for myself when I look in the mirror, so I'm hoping between Weight Watchers and Her Highness Queen Jillian of Michaels, I start getting some sort of results, fast. I had pretty good beginner's luck with WW last time I did it, and I'm combining that with actually working out this time, so... yeah. I'm really quite tired of hating myself. I also would like to be able to take off about ten pounds before Vegas. If I stick to The Plan, that's actually kind of doable. I hope. It's sneaking up on me, though, so maybe that's just me being overly optimistic.

I'm still not holding out any hope of getting near that swimming pool, though. People of Las Vegas: You. Are. Welcome.

[Note: this post was sponsored by absolutely nothing. I realize it kind of sounds like someone was paying me to be all WOOO 30 DAY SHRED but, alas, I am not cool enough for anyone to pay me to do anything of the sort. Though, as per usual, if anyone WANTS to pay me to be all WOOO [Insert Product Here] in exchange for some sort of compensation or free stuff, I'll totally do it. I have no qualms.]


Germana said...

THANK YOU! You're not the only one that still says, "IDK, my BFF Jill?" I still do and it annoys the crap out of my boyfriend. #OMGLOLOLOL (cough)

I love the 30-Day Shred. I also love Jillian's psycho-yoga (aka Yoga Meltdown) work out. I don't hate Jillian either, I find her motivational. Side note, ARE WE LIKE THE SAME PERSON?!

chimes said...

ahhhhhh i love that commercial. wasn't there one with an old lady?

side note — fuck yeah JM. My next post on TH is actually about this DVD.

Side note, the minute you get comfortable with level 1, that means it's time to switch to level 2. Just saying. Being uncomfortable = change.

chimes said...

Also, Mark and I use Jillian as a verb too. :) And LiveFit.

chimes said...

And yes ... with some working out + softball + ww? You're going to shred / shed the 20 lbs pretty fast.

PS Level 3 still kicks my ass. I haven't done it for a few months though, so I wonder ...

Danielle said...

I'm a fan of Jillian. Its the dead eye'd girls behind her that I don't like. COME ON NATALIE, YOUR ABS ARE AMAZING, WHY ARE YOU CHEATING WHEN SHE'S NOT LOOKING?!? FUCK YOU

Lauren McKenna said...

I love that commercial and still quote it at least once a day, no joke. M always rolls his eyes at me. I have some Jillian DVDs somewhere and really need to stop being a lazy ass. hahaha

chimes said...

Also, I saw this, and your comment about a swimsuit at BiSC made me think of you:

chimes said...

oh, and 5th comment? because I'm so excited to read a blog post by you ... it's been like a week.

when you grow tired of the Shred, I have a few more of her DVDs. Yoga is great for rest days. :)

And BOB. He's a dick. But a hot dick.

Cherie said...

My friend and I quoted that commercial yesterday, actually, which prompted my clicking on your blog here. So hello!

My coworker and I are both dieting, but she's going all out and actually exercising (crazy, I think). She's doing the 30 Day Shred as well and she really seems to be enjoying it as well (despite it kicking her ass and making her complain a lot). Maybe this summer I'll be brave and take the plunge too?

Megs said...

Just need to say that I do not hate Jillian Michaels. I am terrified of her. It's a completely different thing.

P.S. I totally remember that commercial.

terra said...

I don't hate Jillian either, mostly because when I did the Shred last summer I lost 10 pounds and got the most beautifully sculpted arms I could have asked for. I do curse at her sometimes, but her attitude only makes me want to succeed.

Also, when it's abs time I am the happiest person ever because laying on the mat feels like heaven, but then Jillian will be all "PLANK!!" and I tend to feel a little cheated.

Tori said...

I'm basically starting over with WW too :( I'm still down 8 lbs from where I started (in July of last year) but FUCK I can't concentrate! And Red Robin sounds so good! And oh, I forgot to bring my lunch today. So let me go get Panda Express!

Being fat is hard work :(

Tori said...

Oh and PS. I totally remember that commercial and it was one of my faves.