Tuesday, April 24, 2012

I'm Back. And also: Strawberries.

Do you love how I'm all "I'm not quitting the Internet, I THOUGHT about quitting the Internet, but I'm totally not, swearsies" and then disappear for like a week? MY BAD.

Anyway I had a post written on my other laptop about all the ridiculous and hilarious things that happened to me last Tuesday (okay, "all" = "two" but whatever) but that laptop is being a little bit of a bitch, so instead, I thought I'd take the opportunity to catch you up on all of my recent food posts that I've neglected to post while I was busy being existential and shit.

I declared April to be Strawberry Month, because, hey, I like strawberries. And I had stuff I wanted to try. Turns out, strawberries conveniently are in season right now, so it's almost like I knew that was going to be happening. (Spoiler alert: I didn't. I have no idea when things are in season. I can tell you what's NOT in season right now: clementines. The ones in the stores are now like $10 a carton and they're tiny and gross-looking.)

First up, we had the Strawberry Banana Bread.




It was okay. I didn't love it. I didn't hate it, either, but I was expecting something else. Namely, banana bread with strawberries in it. This didn't have quite the dominant banana bread flavor I was expecting. No fault of the recipe, but my own misconceptions.

Next up, we had Strawberry Marshmallow Cookies.


These were okay, too. I didn't love them, but they were nice and light, and much to my panic, the BF decided to take some of them home to his mother when he went home for Easter. (THEY WERE NOT PERFECT! NOOOO!) If I'd known he was going to do that, I would have made something else - something I knew was going to turn out to my standards. I guess she liked them, though, so that's a relief.

In turn, he came home with some of her brownies, and I swear to you, they were the best brownies I've ever had. They were the perfect amount of moist chewy deliciousness, and, most notably, had this perfect flaky top that I didn't even know was possible to achieve. I'm not a brownie expert by any means, but damn. These were amazing. Pure perfection in baking.

In other news: the bar has been set high for baked goods. SIGH.

Anyway, these cookies were all right, but the marshmallows weren't enough. I think they need chocolate chips. Whether those are white chocolate chips or chocolate chocolate chips, I'm not sure. I think I'm going to try making them again, and split the batch in half and try both. FOR SCIENCE!

Currently, we have Strawberry Lemon Muffins.
Note: link won't be functional until 7am on 4/25. 


I was really impressed with these. Like I mention in the post, though, I have a particular weakness for lemon. Which is weird, because I don't like lemons by themselves or in my water. But everywhere else, I love them. If it has lemon in the recipe name, I'm probably all over that shit like... I don't know. Things that are on things.

I made these again the other night, using blueberries instead. The blueberries did a much better job of holding their own against the lemon flavor, so I think I like that version better. Bonus: I was in such a hurry to make them the second time around that I TOTALLY FORGOT THE EGGS. I didn't realize it until we'd eaten, like, half of them and I was going to make a comment about how they were totally healthier because I'd used only egg whites and, wait, fuck, I missed that step this time. THEY TOTALLY TURNED OUT FINE. I don't recommend doing that, but... I lucked out there. I really have no idea how this didn't turn into an unmitigated disaster, but they baked normally and tasted really good. So... weird.

I think I might do blueberries next month. I hadn't planned on doing them until, like, July or something, but they appear to ALSO be in season, and now that I'm (sort of) paying attention to such things, might as well. Coming up: raspberries, lemon (of course), and peaches. Then September will be apples because I am a walking cliche, and then... WE'RE BACK TO PUMPKIN!!!

You know what would be fun? To just take a couple days off and have a baking marathon. That would be awesome. My muffin top would not approve of this. Nor would Jillian Michaels. Yes, that's right. After having purchased the 30 Day Shred months and months ago, I finally popped it in yesterday after a self-loathing-induced binge (remember: back on the wagon!). After I didn't die during the first circuit, I decided that I could totally do it. And I did! And I wasn't terribly miserable today except for when I had to take the stairs. Which happens a lot because I live on the second floor and my desk is on the second floor of our office. Woe.

I did it again tonight and while the workout itself seemed easier (maybe because I knew what to expect?), I hurt a lot more afterwards.

And now I'm sitting here with a head full of hair dye because while part of me wants to return to my "natural" blonde state (see: tiny little square picture over by my bio), I can't justify the cost of having it professionally stripped and re-dyed because, hi, Vegas is next month and I'd rather spend money there. I also can't justify leaving it in a rooty state because of the aforementioned Vegas trip and other upcoming photo ops (I think I'm having my employee photo retaken this week too because I hate mine. I like the original one from 2008 better because my face looks thin, but my hair looks ratty. The last one that I had taken, my hair looks nice but my face looks lumpy. UGH. If I had managed to, you know, not gain twenty pounds back, I'd be much more pleased about the impending retake. But dammit, at least my hair will look good. I hope. I'm changing the color slightly. It was getting too red, I'm hoping to take it down a notch or two to auburn.)

And now you've read this post and are sitting there going, "maybe she SHOULD have quit the Internet, LOLZ." To which I say: TOO BAD, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. Also I think I'm approaching 700 posts or some shit so I'll probably do a giveaway or something. Because I enjoy the attention. And I like giving things away. I'm kind of like Oprah. Only significantly poorer and less successful.

In other news, I hate the new Blogger interface. They tried to pull it out once before but gave us the option to use the old one. NO SO MUCH, anymore. Seriously. Do people not realize how much their users hate it when they do this? DO THEY NOT PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT HAPPENS WHENEVER FACEBOOK CHANGES ANYTHING?! Honestly.

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