Monday, July 9, 2012


I am interrupting our regularly scheduled programming to inform you that that we have flying harbingers of death and doom that have taken up residence in our neighborhood. Our front sidewalk, to be exact.

I saw my downstairs duplex neighbor posting on facebook about "the wasps" and how to get rid of them, and I assumed he meant the regular, run of the mill, still scary but normal wasps that we get every summer.

This morning... I saw what he was talking about.

I almost wet myself.

These bastards are probably about 2-3" long and it looked like a bee had been fused to a hornet and was flying around the yard. I naturally assumed they were some sort of evil mutant wasp that has somehow been weaponized and destined to take out our neighborhood.

I cut through the lawn to get to my car. Taking the sidewalk no longer seemed worth it.

Based on my super-helpful description on my own facebook page, I was helpfully pointed in the direction to do a search for cicada killers. Turns out, yes, that's what they are. They're called that  because, well, they kill cicadas. Are cicadas pests? I don't know.

For size reference.
The fact that this person is holding them is going to give me nightmares.
I don't care that they're probably already dead. LOOK AT THEM. HOLY FUCK.

All I know is that I'm scared to be outside now. IT'S NOT SAFE.

My neighbor says they are becoming territorial. That... is basically the last thing I wanted to hear.

If you never hear from me again, it's because there was a hostile takeover and the humans lost.


Danielle said...

Kelly, this is one of the few times that I'm glad I'm no where near you. I want to cry looking at these pictures.

Like for real, I'm shaking haha. I blame the fact that I'm allergic to wasps.

chimes said...

YIKES. I haven't seen any of these yet. I'm guessing it's because Todd the Destroyer has kept them at bay.

I'm telling you: Giant killer spider > lots of other stupid bugs.

terra said...

I blame global warming for this. This is just not a natural occurrence. Also - WJIONIO?!<HIOFDA!! SO SCARY!