I saw my downstairs duplex neighbor posting on facebook about "the wasps" and how to get rid of them, and I assumed he meant the regular, run of the mill, still scary but normal wasps that we get every summer.
This morning... I saw what he was talking about.
I almost wet myself.
These bastards are probably about 2-3" long and it looked like a bee had been fused to a hornet and was flying around the yard. I naturally assumed they were some sort of evil mutant wasp that has somehow been weaponized and destined to take out our neighborhood.
I cut through the lawn to get to my car. Taking the sidewalk no longer seemed worth it.
Based on my super-helpful description on my own facebook page, I was helpfully pointed in the direction to do a search for cicada killers. Turns out, yes, that's what they are. They're called that because, well, they kill cicadas. Are cicadas pests? I don't know.
For size reference.
The fact that this person is holding them is going to give me nightmares.
I don't care that they're probably already dead. LOOK AT THEM. HOLY FUCK.
All I know is that I'm scared to be outside now. IT'S NOT SAFE.
My neighbor says they are becoming territorial. That... is basically the last thing I wanted to hear.
If you never hear from me again, it's because there was a hostile takeover and the humans lost.