Seriously, thanks to Pinterest, I am going to be the best aunt ever.
It's funny, though. As baby-crazy as I've become in regards to my sister's future spawn (I may or may not have purchased a onesie or two already)... I still don't want any for myself. Babies are cute and wonderful, for other people. And, let's face it... if this kid is even half as cute as my sister and I were when we were youngins, it's going to be one effing adorable child.
The best part about being an aunt, as far as I can tell, is that you get to do all the fun stuff and spoil the kid rotten and then hand it back over to the parents. All of the good stuff, none of the gross stuff. WIN!
I mean, on the Kelly Junior front, I'm not saying "never" because, who knows, maybe after a while my maternal instincts will kick in and I'll change my mind. (If I even have maternal instincts. Which I kind of think I don't. I have kind of shitty pet owner instincts and that probably doesn't bode well for a tiny person.) Aside from that, I think I'd be an okay parent. I mean, it's possible I'll spend too much time trying to be a "cool mom" and thus embarrass the everliving hell out of my offspring, but, oh well. I'd much rather have them drink in the house if they're going to drink anyway.
I've got pretty decent genes, it would only be fair to pass them on, right? And I've got a pretty solid work ethic and good morals and acceptable hygiene standards (listen, showering every day is bad for your hair, I read it somewhere) and I can play catch which is useful for a boy OR a girl, and I have an awesome collection of Disney movies. Oooh, and I'm good at craft projects. I should be a professional aunt. Is that a thing? Maybe it's a thing. I'll add it to my entrepreneurial agenda right after Professional Bridesmaid. This is the stuff I'm good at, folks. Basically, I'm a real life Best Supporting Actress. And I say this with the utmost sincerity - I like being helpful and useful. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.
Also, I just cut somewhere in the neighborhood of 2000 words from this post because I digressed HORRIBLY and I will post those some other time but it's basically a reiteration of why I'm currently a card-carrying member of the No Babies For Me club. Including but not limited to: babies are terrifying and all the good genes in the world will not change the fact that I'm ill-equipped to be in charge of another human life, especially a tiny one that happens to be somewhat fragile.
But that detracts from my point.
Which is: OMG OMG OMG I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT AND IT'S GOING TO BE AWESOME.
ALSO HOLY SHIT WE'RE OLD BECAUSE MY SISTER IS PREGNANT AND IT'S NOT WEIRD BECAUSE WE ARE LEGITIMATE GROWNUPS.
So, congratulations to my sister and congratulations to me even though I didn't even do anything to contribute to this current situation except be born before she was and to the same parents.
I did help with her announcement photos though. And by "help" I mean I found ideas on Pinterest and then I made the props and then we recreated them and I took the pictures. AND I even made up my own "Aunt Announcement Photo" which you may recall from the beginning of this post. See how helpful I am being already? (Though, let's face it... I'll be more helpful at taking pictures of Baby than at things like changing diapers, because, ew.) Again, another post for another time, re: the photos and props and such. (Is auntie blogging a thing? Is it as profitable as mommy blogging? Can I make it be a thing?)
So, in conclusion: SQUEEEEEEE!