Friday, October 12, 2012

Traffic Roundup

I’ve been collecting my blog search terms for quite a while and have been meaning to do a followup post similar to this one but quite frankly, it’s gotten away from me. As I get back into the swing of things on ye olde blogge, I figured now would be as good a time as any to provide some assistance to all those poor souls who land here from, well, probably Google, but who really knows? Also, it makes one less thing on my massive blog-to-do-list.. (to-blog list? You know what I mean.)

Without further ado... here are the most recent and/or most frequent searches that have somehow or another led people to this corner of the Internet. Some of them might have found what they were looking for. Others... uhhhh, probably not.

Well, kiddos, I hate to disappoint you, but Jenn lives over here. She is quite delightful, though, and I don’t blame you for searching for her, but I’m a little surprised you ended up here instead of there.

To get your Jenn fix, though, here’s a pic of us from the last time I was in Atlanta.

smitten kitten
I guess you must be looking for this post here. Or maybe this image, via this site:

blonde oreo
You’re all wrong. I mean, blonde Oreos are okay, but have you considered, oh, the pink Berry Burst Oreos? 

Or the Mint Oreos? 

Or, the best ever, the Double-Triple-Death-By-Oreo double-decker Oreo that has a layer of mint crème and a layer of chocolate crème? Because, DAMN.


birthday cake oreo
Now we’re talking. After I went through the ordeal of ordering them online out of sheer desperation, and then never posted about it again, we occasionally found them at Wal-Mart a few months later. Not both our Wal-Marts, no no. Just the old one that I’m surprised they didn’t close after they built the new one. They're a little bit too sweet for me... and I tried to make a recipe from Pinterest that were cookies that use crumbled bits of Birthday Oreo cookies and, well. My verdict was a solid "meh."

Also, did you know they have a fudge-dipped version? Which, in hindsight, I think are actually better?

pimped out silver chevy cobalt
FIST PUMP for Chevy Cobalts! However, my Cobie is kind of a beige color and she’s really not pimped out at all. Unless you count my “ISU Alum” license plate frames. Which I don’t.

Ryan Gosling no shirt/shirtless Ryan Gosling
RELENTLESS. But here you go. I am nothing but a shameless traffic-grubbing attention whore.

Those things take a pounding/ why do people say grow some balls betty white/ vaginas take a pounding/ betty white vagina quote
Ah, we all love us a Betty White quote, don’t we? She’s pretty bad-ass. The post you probably stumbled upon is here, but I’ll save you time, because the image you want is right here:

Angry Cy/ISU
GO STATE! Here you go.

Color Run Des Moines Route
The Des Moines Color Run is over, and it was fun (although chilly), and this was the route:

The color zones are all out of order - it was orange, then blue, then pink, then yellow, and I think the yellow (zone 4) spot ended up on MLK near SE 7th once you went around the median, but all in all, it looks accurate. I'm glad you asked, because I was going to go find this map so I could figure out exactly how far I DID run that day.

hedgehog hat
Do you mean a hat with hedgehogs on it, or a hedgehog wearing a hat? I assume you mean a hedgehog wearing a hat, because that’s cuter.

Okcupid horror story
I think you’ve come to the wrong place. Despite the fact that it seems like an obvious place for things to go awry, I did not have any bad experiences with that site. Quite the contrary, actually…

Ryan Reynolds/Ryan Reynolds shirtless/Ryan Reynolds shirtless Green Lantern
In case anyone is curious, the Ryan Gosling searches are starting to outnumber the Ryan Reynolds searches. I’m not saying it means anything, I’m just merely offering up my observations.

perky ass in small shorts
HAHAHAHAHAHA you have totally come to the wrong blog. I… I don’t even have anything I can give you. Shoo. Move along.

Peter Campbell
I suspect you want Ameena’s guest post, here.

insert clever title here
YAY! You found me! I… hope it was me you’re looking for.

breast cancer facebook status 2012
If you want my rant about pointless facebook statuses, go here. Then go donate some money or buy something from here. That will help more than a status update will.

teen padfolio

clever title for a story about what mom taught me
Email me and tell me your story. I will come up with a clever title for it. And then I will send you an invoice. Everyone wins!

homecoming queen
I was not a homecoming queen. But I do have a tiara. I hope this appeases your search.

how to be lucky on ok cupid
Don’t be a fake or a liar or an asshole. You can go ahead and apply that to other dating sites and/or real life, too. You’re welcome.

how to make blue glitter shoes

hott naked girls
Not here. Even if we served naked girls here, they would be “hot” not “hott” because “hot” only has one t in it.

limbo stick man bathroom stall
I don’t even know what that means. For which, I am thankful.

5k color run seattle/ color run 5k minneapolis
YAY COLOR RUNS! Seattle was here and Minneapolis was here, but my post about doing a Color Run is here.

As a bonus, when I was running a search for the Cy logo, I found this, buried in the results:

My CyPod!!!! Wooo! It was funny to see it out in the wild.

I also found this, which is completely ridiculous but I MUST OWN IT. It's a Cy loofah. Because: who knows why, but it's adorable.

And that concludes today's traffic report. Back to you, Barbara.


Jenn said...

Hahaha I love that I'm one of your searches and I ALSO love that picture of us!

bambier said...

Love!! I get a kick out of looking at those things... I don't get much on our family blog, but the ones that come up on my couponing site crack me up!!

Steph A said...

limbo stick man bathroom stall...? I'm so very curious about this. I'm going to consult my husband and/or urban dictionary and find out what it means.