Wednesday, November 14, 2012


I don’t know what it is about NaBloPoMo that keeps me so motivated to stay on track, but I guess it’s because I hate the idea of abject failure when it’s something so preventable. At any rate, I should probably post today and I don’t really have anything to say so, blergh. I mean, I do, but I don't really feel like it.

I suppose I could talk about how the Christmas Spirit has gotten a chokehold on me, and how I wander the aisles at Target and Walmart and want to buy everything, and yet go into an inexplicable rage when I hear Christmas music playing anywhere (TOO SOON!) and how I’ve got pretty much all my Christmas shopping done and even mostly wrapped and how I even managed to cut myself with a pair of scissors in the process (TALENT!) and how I’ve got my holiday cards designed (I did them myself this year! I am quite pleased with how they are progressing) but the photo part isn’t coming together just the way I like it even though, well, getting a cat to behave properly is next to impossible (even when you have as cooperative a kitty as I do). Or I could talk about how I’m cranky and all I want to do is take a big nap because sometimes being a girl just sucks.

Or I could talk about this obnoxious little trend of all the states petitioning to secede from the union. First of all, this is why the rest of the world thinks we are ungrateful crybaby assholes, because we ARE. Second of all, I want you to take a guess how long each of these states would survive on its own without any sort of assistance from the federal government. I’m guessing it wouldn’t take long. Our entire national economy is built on all of the states being, for lack of a better word, intermingled. I guess, though, that would be one way to help cut the deficit, if we could cut funding to all the states that left. Thirdly, do you remember what happened last time states seceded? It was over slavery and then there was a big ol’ Civil War and lots of people died and it was awful and idiotic and quite frankly I really don’t want to repeat that part of history. Also, I have to travel a lot and it would be a pain in the ass to have to get a passport to go to a couple states over. What a bureaucratic nightmare.

And I know it’s awful of me, but I have this stereotype in my head, from what I’ve seen, that the people calling to secede are these backwards rednecks who latched onto the idea without actually thinking it through and what it would actually mean. (With my apologies to the South, because that is where most of this is coming from. I know you’re not all like that.)

Perhaps this image is why.

Grow up. Put on your big kid underpants and deal with the fact that the only way to fix anything is to work at it. Running away is never the solution. It wasn’t the solution when you were ten, and it’s not the solution now. You’re only going to make things worse for everyone. The world didn’t end in the last four years, just as it didn’t end for us blue-leaning folks when W was in office for eight years, and it’s not going to end now. Nothing has changed. Put your signs and petitions away and try being a constructive citizen.

Ironically, there is quite a bit of overlap between the map of the states that are petitioning to secede and this other map that shows government dependence – most of the dependence is concentrated in the traditionally red states. I wonder if they realize that if they break off from the union, they’ll no longer receive their government checks.

That might change their mind in a hurry.

(For the record, both of these were found/posted by people that I know to be fairly moderate and I’m always surprised when I see them post “liberal” stuff… based on some other stuff they post, I would expect them to fall into the conservative camp. One of them even went so far to take a screenshot comparing the two.)

Or I could talk about how I’m super annoyed that even though the election is over and I thought I could go back to my peaceful pre-campaign life, I am still stressed out and frustrated by things I am seeing and that people say and I just want to beat these subjects over the head ad-nauseum until they GO AWAY but it’s been difficult to make a clean break and quite frankly there is nothing I can do about any of it other than annoy anyone who might still be listening to me and so I suspect it would be wise to swallow my irritations and keep my mouth shut but I’m finding it difficult to do.

Or I could talk about how I’m drowning in clutter and “stuff” and I don’t have time to sort and “de-junk” and even if I did, a lot of the stuff I own is pretty decent so I hate to get rid of it but I don’t have the time or energy to try to sell it and our consignment stores are really snooty and so there goes my option for clothes and so I GUESS I’ll take it all to Goodwill but I really only have time for a drive-by donate-and-run so I couldn’t even do whatever it is a person does to get a tax writeoff (not that I know how to write anything off on my taxes, HAHA) so, yeah. It’s stressing me out. I want to simplify but I don’t have time.

Or, this:

OMG! Like, who cares? That’s a legit blurb from a magazine cover. I mean, sure, it’s People magazine, so take that for what it is, but… OMG and TOTALLY are not words that should appear as a headline. Ever.

I’m not a fan of people today, I guess. I really want a nap. Five-year-olds don’t need naps. Working adult professionals do. I think we have this all backward. I want the next person who tries to campaign for office to me to include this in their agenda. Mandatory afternoon naps in the workplace. Maybe I'll just start an online petition. They seem to be all the rage these days.


Tori said...

I would be all about a mandated mid-day nap period. Other countries have them! Why can't we?

Start a petition! I'd pass that shit around like candy on Halloween. We'd have a million signatures in no time!

chimes said...


In other news, Kelly / Calee 2016.

Steph A said...

I never thought i'd say this to you, Kelly, but HANG ON to your stuff! I discovered the very greatest thing ever: clothing swap parties. I went to two this year and they are wonderful. You bring your nice clothes that you don't want anymore and other people do the same and you take whatever you want and the leftovers get donated to Goodwill or a women's shelter. People bring housewares and accessories and such as well. And all the while you eat tasty food. AMAZING. So next time i go to one or host one, you're coming!

Terra said...

It's amazing the shit people find to complain about in the US. I mean really. Having a black guy as President is NOT THAT BAD IN THE GENERAL SCHEME OF THINGS, and even if he was a closet Muslim, or a crazy Socialist - STILL, NOT THAT BAD. People who lack perspective amaze me.

Kelly L. said...

A coworker of mine did a clothing swap while I was in Oregon, I did save a few nicer things for in case another one popped up. PLEASE bring me with you!!!

Kelly L. said...