Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Almost Juror

I wrote this post just in case I got picked but as it turns out I called in to the super secret potential juror hotline and it turns out our session was cancelled for tomorrow so I'm off the hook, and I even remembered to catch this post before it went live. Buuuuut I hate to delete a perfectly good blog post, so I'm going to post it anyway. 

***

If you're seeing this post, it means I got selected for jury duty and am thusly unable to blog today. Either that or they ended up not needing me after all and I forgot that I had pre-scheduled this post and neglected to take it down.

I... kind of hope I don't. I have nothing against jury duty itself. I mean, it's my civic duty, blah blah blah, and for as much as I was all WOO POLITICS earlier this month and last, I guess I should put my money where my mouth is and actually serve without complaining. It's all part of the justice system which is part of our overall system which, well, y'know. 'MERICA. EFF YEAH. And all that.

But I've never done jury duty before, and for some reason, I am oddly nervous.

My biggest fear is that I'm going to get roped into a Super Big Case and be sequestered for weeks on end and not only will that create issues in terms of my job (one day, I can probably swing being gone, before I turn into a frantic stressball) but, I mean, what if I get swept away and can't call (you're not allowed to have phones!) and then my cat starves to death while I'm gone and my rent doesn't get paid (maybe I should pay it early?) and of course NaBlo is effed which should be the lowest of priorities but you know how it is. These are the things I worry about.

The reality is more along the lines of this: I live in a pretty low-crime county. IF I even end up having to do anything, it would probably be over traffic violations or something.

I'm also afraid I'll do something wrong or somehow misread the instructions and then get arrested for contempt of court over something stupid. Or that there will be some case where it's actually a BIG DEAL and I'll feel guilt over having say in a pivotal moment in someone's life. I don't feel right about making judgment calls like that. I mean, hi, 12 Angry Men? I'd probably be Henry Fonda but with my luck I'd probably be wrong.

What I'm actually NOT concerned about is being late, because I know I'll be just fidgety and restless enough that I'll be there stupidly early because on the instances where I'm not running behind, I'm always ridiculously early (one extreme to the other), and usually there are nerves involved. (I sat in my car for at least ten minutes before me and the BF's first date, and even when I did decide to go in, I was still five minutes early.) But I've never been to the county courthouse for anything other than to register my new car or get new license plates, and the office for that is RIGHT INSIDE THE DOOR, so I don't know where to go and I'm afraid I'll get lost and THEN be late and then get arrested for contempt of court again.

Like I said: I've never been called for jury duty before and quite frankly all the unknown variables are stressing me out. My mind likes to run away with all of the worst-case scenarios (wasn't there a movie where, like, the jurors were all targeted and killed?) and therefore create all sorts of unnecessary contingency plans. It's exhausting being this paranoid.

No comments: