Thursday, March 21, 2013
How to Feel Like the Star of a Romantic Comedy
This post is part of the Scintilla Project, a two-week storytelling extravaganza that encourages bloggers to share stories based on a shared set of prompts. Click the link to visit the site and find out more, or to sign up! Visit the blogroll to find other blogs that are participating and to read their stories, too.
Prompt: Tell a story about something interesting that happened to you, but tell it in the form of an instruction manual. (Step 1, Step 2, etc.)
1. Arrive at the airport without much extra time to spare, because it's a tiny regional airport and you've done this before.
2. Get held up in security because you have an unidentifiable block in your luggage, which apparently could be C-4 but is actually a sticky note cube.
3. Start to anxiously check your watch because your flight has already started boarding. Regret being so blasé about your schedule.
4. Get the all-clear from the TSA agent and high-tail it to your gate, which for such a small airport, seems awfully far away.
5. Be the last person on the plane. Be relieved that the gate attendant waited for you, but feel like an asshole, even though you were only a couple minutes behind everyone else.
6. Find your seat and try to pretend that the other passengers aren't watching you and/or possibly giving you the stink-eye. Make sure to be really flustered and breathless. This is important.
7. Be pleasantly surprised to to find that you've been seated next to an attractive boy who appears to be in your age bracket.
8. Make small talk, asking questions that serve your interests and possibly provide answers as to age, occupation, and relationship status.
9. Determine that he's slightly younger than you, but not too young to be a deal-breaker. Do math. He's still in college but he was deployed for a while; confirm a 2-3 year gap.
10. As the plane taxis to the gate, work up the nerve to state that you're going to grab some lunch during your layover, and ask if he'd like to join you.
11. Be breezy! Be breezier than you've ever been in your life.
12. Try not to look too giddy when he says yes.
13. Have lunch in a tucked away booth in an airport restaurant. His beer lands on your tab, so you pay for it with a coy smile.
14. As the bills are being settled, rip off your gate-check tag and write your phone number on it. Slide it across the table and tell him to give you a call if he wants to hang out when you're both back from your respective trips.
15. Don't forget the goodbye hug when you part ways.
16. When you get to your new gate, text your friends because OMG WHO IS THIS SAUVE VIXEN THAT YOU HAVE BECOME?
17. Complain about hotels charging money for wireless Internet, but spring for it anyway.
18. Wait a day or so, then send him a friend request on facebook. Feel optimistic when he accepts.
19. Don't forget to check your email, too. Discover that you have received a message from a very promising match who would like to get to know you. Decide online dating might not be so bad after all.
20. Wait three weeks to respond because you want to write the perfect response, which you can't possibly do in a hotel room. Fret over this until you realize it's been three weeks and you need to respond with something (anything!) soon before you lose this guy's interest.
21. Exchange several messages. Arrange a date. Send cutesy text messages that build up hope and expectation.
22. Go on date. Continue to date this boy a long long time because he is awesome. Don't be bothered by the fact that the airport boy never called, because you still got a great story out of it, and besides, you found someone way better. You win!
23. Never get around to posting this story and dig it up over a year later and use it for a storytelling project.