Monday, April 1, 2013

Living Out Loud






[Source: Lisa Congdon via Pinterest]


I found this on Pinterest and it really spoke to me. I've currently got it tacked up at my desk at work. I want with every fiber of my being to live out loud. I want to make it all count. I don't want to wake up one day and wonder what happened. I'd rather wake up and wonder what I should take on next.

I was not meant to lie down and let life pass me by. I was not meant to be caged. I was not meant to conform. I am meant for more than a black-and-white life - I need the full rainbow of colors. I have this inexplicable sense of defiance that burns down in my very core.I fought it when I was young, I tried to blend in... but I was meant to stand out. There is something, somewhere, in this world that I was meant to do, and meant to be great at. And, dammit, I will not rest until I find it. I owe it to myself.

It sounds like a cliche, but I feel on fire with possibility right now. I'm done wandering. It's time to start doing. I'm tired of waiting for the right time, or for this to happen, or this. I want to go. Wherever it is I am supposed to go, that is where I want to be. I'm the queen of excuses but I need to get out of my own way, or I'm going to tread water for the rest of my life. This is now, this is all we have. 

Truth? I'm scared. I'm always very uneasy about change. I like being comfortable, I like knowing what comes next. But there's plenty of time for complacency when I am old; I feel like I'm wasting what's left of my youth. I think I need to start chasing those dreams before they end up being hollow memories. If I want something more, I need to hunt it down myself. It's clearly not coming to me. I'm still not even sure what that means, what it is I'm after, but I know I won't find it with what I'm doing now.

These are the things that are occupying my mind these days. What's next? What do I do with myself? What is it, exactly, that I want? Maybe answering those questions is the first step. Or maybe I just need to hit the ground running and see where I end up.

2 comments:

Kelly L said...

I love, love, love this post, lady. Cheers to possibility and living out loud!

Kelly L said...

Aw yiss! :)