I got us cake. The blog can't have any. She's watching her girlish figure. More for me.
This year, as I noted once, though I don't remember when, was full of fives. Five years at my job... Five years with my cat (who, incidentally, also turned five.) Five years since my sister got married. Five years since I moved back to this town. Five years since Barack Obama was elected President. Five years since my first IKEA visit. (See, this is why people blog. To remember the important details of their life.)
My first post was me complaining about how someone else already had my username (which is, of course, a moot point since I finally bought my own domain back in, eh... 2011? Right before my first #BiSC) and my second post is me explaining why I started yet another blog and basically just sounding like a typical not-quite-24-year-old that has nothing to say but wants to be heard all the same.
The rest, as they say, is history.
I don't feel like a lot has changed around here, but I guess it has. I'm still me... but I'm older (obviously) and wiser (arguably) now. I swear a lot less because a lot more people read it; I post a lot less because I have too much to say (what? no, it makes sense: I get overwhelmed and then whatever I was going to say sort of eventually becomes irrelevant). I've tried to focus more on quality rather than quantity (debatable, but at least I feel like I'm putting more thought into things.) I've actually made a tiny bit of money from my prolonged presence, either directly or indirectly, though not really enough to write home about. I've made friends - some that I've met, some that I haven't. (YET.) I've had epiphanies and facepalm moments.
I got on a plane, by myself, to travel to a city I'd never been to, by myself, to hang out for an entire long weekend with people I'd never actually met, simply because they were like me and because it sounded fun. It was the scariest and most awesome thing I've ever done, and I will be forever grateful to myself for working up the courage to say yes to something crazy.
I'd like to think my writing as evolved and changed over five years... gotten better, with any luck. (Though I did make the mistake of reading through some of my early posts and, ugh. I should probably go through and delete all the dumb stuff I wrote back then. Is that cheating? Maybe that's cheating. Other people do it. On the one hand, I hate to get rid of anything, because at one point, that was reflective of who I was and how I saw the world and how I needed to express myself... on the other, while my worldview hasn't necessarily changed, my level of eloquence undoubtedly has. Nostalgia and self-preservation versus... the Non-Sucky Writing Police, I guess. Excuse me while I have a personal dilemma over here. BRB.)
I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that I also post a lot less because I've been spending more time offline. A funny thing is happening to my generation: while we midwifed the birth of social media and threw our lives out into the abyss (perhaps not setting the best of examples for the generations after us, because having not had a time Before The Internet, they maybe don't know balance quite like we do; they don't know hesitation and they certainly don't know about boundaries)... we're getting older now. Our needs are fulfilled less and less by pixels on a screen and more and more by the things happening out in the world. We're growing up. We're starting to move on. Several other bloggers I know have made passing note of this, and I started a post once about it. The winds are shifting. It almost feels like the heyday is over (is it? It's hard to say for sure). But here's what I know: I'll still be here. I was writing online before it was Something That Everyone Did and I will continue to write here after people have gotten bored and moved on. It feeds the part of my soul that needs to connect, that needs to share, that needs to tell stories.
One thing, though, that hasn't changed, though I've learned to make my peace with it: I still hate the word "blog."