Everything Ever

The Complete Unabridged Archives of Sometimes Cleverly-Titled Blog Posts of Bygone Days (Since 2008)


This is, my friends, a complete list of all my old entries, so both you and I can find the ones we are looking for (okay, mostly me). If you care. Which you might not. Which is okay. I will still love you anyway.

Since most of you are relatively new to here, and don't care to go through every.single.post.ever, which I totally don't blame you for, this is a helpful summary on what you may have missed.

I have starred several of the entries - this indicates either a post I really like for whatever reason, or one you should probably read, for whatever reason.

This was really exhausting so it's not totally up to date but whatever, you can still find the newer posts on the main page.

Also, to save you LOTS OF TIME, here are my Year-In-Review posts - those cover a lot of ground :)
2008 In Review
2009 In Review



Enjoy.


MAY 2010

Foursquare'd. - I ranted about how much I hated this thing and I finally succumbed to peer pressure and joined it. As I am wont to do.

*Who the hell uses gravy boats, anyway? - Wedding season has triggered my ire in the ongoing cycle of forking over cash for wedding gifts and how it sucks and what if you never get married so there is no chance of anyone reciprocating your generosity and I reference one of the, like, five episodes of Sex and the City that I've actually seen (the one with the shoes!) and also I amuse the hell out of myself sometime. This is really quite a glorious rant.

Scarlett Johanssen is Judging Me - I make a big deal out of the fact that I bought a huge case of Diet Dr Pepper and Scarlett Johanssen is on them for Iron Man 2 and she's totally, well, judging me. I think she is calling me fat. There are some lovely Photoshop pictures involved. And then I inexplicably start talking about roller skates and my fear of them.

Mulligan - a hilarious recap of my maddening Monday morning.

my brain hurts trying to think of a title - (okay, self: I hate when I do this. I GET that you're too lazy to come up with anything but the fact that you waste a title whining about how you don't have a title is starting to annoy your future self, so knock it off). I'm exhausted because 24 hours is an insufficient amount and also I picked up a part-time job and also I photoshopped my face onto Wonder Woman and the glorious tradition of me photoshopping my face onto things was born.

Head, Meet Desk. Desk, Meet Head. Y'all Better Get Acquainted. - That glorious moment when you realize all your student loan interest has capitalized and now you owe more than you did when you graduated college.

Memories of Spain - probably the longest post I've ever written on here. Basically I read a travel memoir and I got nostalgic and wrote about my trip to Spain when I was seventeen.

Time For Another Ramblethon - I gained weight, my car is jacked up, I'm busy and exhausted, etc etc. It's quite an entertaining read. Also contains one of my most well-received lines, which apparently cemented my status as being "hilarious" - "Sorry guys. I was too busy being fat, apparently." (It makes more sense when you read it in context.)


*on motivation, personal failures, and unflattering white pants - An uncharacteristically serious post about my journey towards becoming a black belt, the self-handicapping that was keeping me from my full potential, and some pictures of me looking kind of like a bad-ass.


*[May 5] - Another heart-wrenching anniversary post about how I miss my friend that was killed in a car-accident. Honestly? I'm still not over it. It still hurts. All this time later. Even now as I write this summary.


waiting for the rain - the impending cloud of hurt that hangs over my head every May. (see: May 5th post.)


the time is now - cheesy motivational signs from Target but I sometimes need a reminder to BE HAPPY NOW.


APRIL 2010

Lovely. And Possibly Evil. - I bought a picture frame from Target that had lovely lavender edges made of fabric and a delicate floral print and... swastikas? A line pattern that looks like swastikas.

Missed Opportunities - I totally had the perfect opportunity to chat up a cute guy at the grocery store and didn't realize it until it was too late.

I HAVE SPECIAL EYES - I'm lazy and can't motivate myself to get to my TKD class even though I'm so close to my black belt. Also, a hilarious contacts commercial. So hilarious, in fact, that I ended up getting a lot of traffic to this site from other people searching for it.

What was I saying? Oh, right. I'm awesome. - Megs gave me a blog award. In which I brag about this for a few minutes and then follow the rules of the meme and reveal five factlets about myself. Including the fact that I dislike black jellybeans. Important information, people.

i hate everything. - Not everything. Just this handy little list of things that were getting on my nerves that week.

Speak Up, I Can't Hear You - Talking about a feminism blog-writing project that I found on the Internets and how there was a lot I wanted to say even though a lot of that bad shit has never happened to me personally. And then I end it on a lighter note by posting my favorite tampon commercial ever. Yes, I have a favorite tampon commercial.

VIVA LA VEISHEA - A photo retrospective of our student-run festival on campus over the last few years.

I Don't Even Know What To Call This - People were demanding an update on the bartender and there was no update because I was avoiding it because I wasn't really feeling it although maybe I should because I had nothing else going on in my life but the timing kind of caused the whole thing to fizzle out. Also: VEISHEA. Which you don't know what it is because it's an acronym for our ISU-fest and I complain about some asshole at the parade (yes, there was a parade) and then I post an unfortunately short clip of Calee and I singing Beat It at a bar.

You're Welcome - A video I took at the bar, entitled: "Four Guys Singing 'Truly, Madly, Deeply' At The Bar With Lyrics They Had To Look Up On An iPhone."


*Hey Baby - Pictures of me when I was a baby because I was fucking adorable.


*From There to Here - A lovely nostalgia post that reeks of existentialism as I wonder what my younger self would think of the person I had become by age 25.


Books, Blogs, And Other Things That Start With B For The Sole Point of Clever Alliteration - Reading is fun.   I discuss my adoration for books and my newfound adoration of memoirs and how this all ties in nicely with my other newfound adoration for blogs which are basically just ongoing memoirs. 


A Love Story - That time I fell in love with a $20 bottle of shampoo. Spoiler alert: it ends in heartbreak.


Ramblethon - I think this might be what early onset schizophrenia looks like. 


GUYS GUYS I MADE A DESIGN - Remember how I had a degree in graphic design? I actually made something with it. This apparently made me very excited. 


hello there. - hmm, this is kind of meta - this is the post where I announce that I have created the very archive page that you are now looking at.

shake it, shake it, shake it like a... - I got a Polaroid camera at a garage sale and was really excited until I realized how expensive it is to buy film because Polaroid ruined my life and stopped making their instant film but all is not lost because some group decided to fix up the last remaining Polaroid factory over in Europe and soon it will be available again. In the meantime, I totally downloaded some free software that allows me to turn my digital photos into fake Polaroid pictures. (IT EVEN MAKES THE NOISE). Anyway it all fascinates me because I am a nostalgic sap and I love photography.

Don't Smoke the Lotion - my grandma bought me a container of hemp lotion. What then ensued was an amusing conversation with my grandma about marijuana. Fun times.


And Now, Completely 100% Free of Logical Segues! - Family time is exhausting. Boy and Other Girl made it "Facebook Official" but I don't caaaaaaaaare. I feel fat because I am fat. I think that was the gist of it.


Cookies & Parking Tickets - my department played a cute April Fool's Day joke on our office where we sounded the parking ticket alarm  but were waiting out back with cookies instead. 


MARCH 2010

Five Things - I'm very excited about eating Frankenberry in March. Also, Disney movies, softball, money, blog comments.

narcissism, younger men, and bad ideas - In which I facebook-stalk the bartender I made out with and discover he's only 22.

I Should Be Sleeping, But Instead I'm Blogging - Alternately titled "How Kelly Got Her Groove Back" or "That Time I Totally Hooked Up With a Cute Bartender." I'm also a bit rattled because I received official word-of-mouth confirmation that the guy I've been pining over is, officially, with That Other Girl.

Running On Empty - Feeling like shit (emotionally) and feeling guilty for being a terrible friend because the feeling like shit (emotionally) was creating an unpleasant ripple effect on the rest of my life. It actually made me kind of sad to re-read this post because I remember how miserable I was when I wrote it.

I Bet You Forgot To Put This On Your Calendars, Didn't You? - In which it is my 25 1/2th birthday and I'm freaking out about getting old. Bitch, please.

As Promised, Something Fluffy - a picture of my cat dressed up. You know, like I do.

My Four Cents: Why Is It So Wrong To Want To Fix A Broken System, Part 2 - More discussion on the health care reform plan and why it personally affects my life, my mother's life, and other peoples' lives, and why I fully support it and think it's a good idea.

*Why Is It So Wrong To Want To Fix A Broken System? - A rare political post based on the new health care reform plan that had been recently passed. As far as my political posts go, I'm actually pretty proud of this one, it seems rational and not shouty and offers some of my own personal insight/experience on the issue.

*untitled, unfinished - In which I talk about my lifelong dream of becoming a writer and why I feel like it is growing further and further out of reach, and some other general thoughts on figuring out my life path.

Go Figure. - It snowed. Crankiness ensued.

Sunshine On My Shoulders Makes Me Happy - The weather has shifted and I felt my seasonal affective bullshit melting away.

Slainte! - In which I go out of my way to prove that I am More Irish Than You because everyone claims to be Irish on St Patrick's Day (even when they're not), even though I'm only a little bit Irish. My name is Kelly and I have red hair. I mean, seriously. I win.

Hey, Remember Me? - Burnt out, exhausted, adjusting medications, also: the repercussions of falling for one of your friends results in missing said friend. Also, an adorable picture of me wearing my 3D glasses after my first 3D movie experience (Alice in Wonderland).

sometimes, I don't even bother with trying to come up with a good title - (no shit, Kelly). Emotional crash. Adjusting medications. Trying to get over unrequited crushiness. The usual.


FEBRUARY 2010

*Sequins, Ruffles, and Beer - Squee! Grownup prom! Recap and photos of 80's/zombie prom. Yes, you read that right. Just... just click on it.

the butterfly hunter - I hate the feeling of when you know your optimism is slowly dying, and you know it's time to move on, but you can't help but still feel things about that one guy who makes you feel things that you've started to hate.

scattered thoughts on a thursday afternoon - one step in front of the other, and dealing with it.

Life's Big Questions - Discussion: Grey or Gray? (Loved the responses here, and I never did answer this, but I agree 100% with my friend Stacey's comment that Crayola says it's Gray, so it's Gray, dammit. Yes, we did go to the same school. But we were also the two smartest kids there. so STFU.)

*still here - this is one of my favorite posts but mostly because it's more of a prose piece than my normal posts. I kind of poured a lot of myself and how I was feeling into it and I like how it turned out. (P.S., my project won a gold ADDY.)

contrary to popular belief, big girls DO cry - this is probably me at my most vulnerable and most open, talking about my broken heart. I can't even try to summarize it, it wouldn't really be fair to the girl I was when I wrote it, because it wouldn't really capture it well.

fuck. - fuck you, universe. (I think more is explained in the subsequent post).

So, Um, Sorry, I Guess... - the only coherent thought I can pull out of this post is that I yelled at a box of clearance Valentine's candy for not getting my money's worth. 

*Are you READY for this AWESOMENESS?!?!? - I present to you... My Thriller dance performance. (contains video)

I Still Refuse to Concede That Today is a Holiday - anti-valentine's day graphic that I recycled from myself from years prior. 

Holy Awesomeness, Batman! - I discovered that I had broken my camera in a puddle of booze the previous weekend (oops) but I got my tax refund and beelined to Target to buy a new one for Prom and... came home to find out that I'd won a free iPod nano from a fellow blogger's giveaway. 

*Take Your Spec Job And Shove It - Rant on why you should never ask a designer to work on spec. It demeans us and our profession and it is Not Okay.

Jealous of Myself - I found my old blog. I liked my writing from that one better. I apparently have gotten worse as I've gotten older.

Thoughts on Love... Sorta - What it says, really.  Also: cookie porn. 

Abominable Snowmonsters And Other Naturally Occurring Phenomenon - We were predicted to get 40 hours of snow. HOURS. Also, snow apparently makes me swear a lot. Interesting.

To Whom It May Concern: My Ovaries Would Like Me To Tell You That You Are An Asshole - Angry ranting over the extremely sexist commercials from the 2010 SuperBowl. What the fuck, advertisers? 

Unexpectedly Fragile - Things that upset me at work fade when faced with another girl's visible heartache and the way we are all kind of tied together.

Bandwagon'd - Hopping on the find-your-celebrity-lookalike train. Warning: contains lots of pictures of me. And also of Isla Fisher. Because people tell me I look like her. Even though she's clearly hotter and has better hair.

This Still Cracks Me Up - Progress Lobster Ready to Crawl.

Open Letter to (Cheap) Shampoo Companies - Quit making shampoo I like and then taking it off the market. I hate you. In summary.

I'd Like To Thank The Little People - I got my first blog award and meme'd like a champ.

JANUARY 2010

que sera, sera - I got blown off by the boy that my friend introduced me too, and while my ego was slightly bruised, I really wasn't terribly saddened by it. 

traffic control - I got my first naughty search blog hit, and I started a new food blog. 

Quotent Quotables - I think that's a Jeopardy category, right? Anyway, long quote from Jim Henson that I needed to post, because it validated my workaholicism. 

Warning: This Post is Kind of Obnoxiously Ego-Stroking And Also Full of Squee - One of my projects won an ADDY and I take great pains to tell you why project management is just as important as design and why I was going to take partial credit for it, and also, mostly just excitedness.

Things That Happened While I'd Normally Be Asleep (No, Not THAT...) - I defied my burgeoning hermit-ism to get all dolled up and meet some people (on a SCHOOL NIGHT) including the dude my friend wanted to set me up with. Also present: the guy that I've been pining over. Awkward.

no romance > bad romance - clearly in the thick of my Lady Gaga obsession, this post centers around how I finally manned up and issued rejections to both the deserving and the undeserving. This is a follow up post to, obviously, the one entitled "Bad Romance."

*Today's Vernacular is, Like, Totes Ridic - patented Kelly rant about the demise of the English language. Naturally, I think it's brilliant. I think I blamed the Internet. And my five year old self. Who thought the other kids were stupid. Yes, I started young. 

Love Harder(er) - Backtrack post to follow up to Love Harder to clarify why I was supporting this cause. Basically: I hate cancer. In any form. Anything that helps speed up its eventual cure is A+ in my book. Which is why I guess I focused on this instead of Haiti. 

Love Harder - The Internet rallied around one of its own to raise money for cancer research. It was touching. 

bad romance - woe, my love life sucks. (not a shocker, if you've been reading this blog for more than a week). I wax poetic about how I've been blowing off a couple guys and don't really feel bad about it, except I feel bad about not feeling bad, so I should probably give them the benefit of a proper let-down. Also, more sadness over unrequited mancrush and potential matchup from a friend. Also, an allusion to my mother's crazy. Sorry, you'll have to buy the book for that story.

I'm Cranky Because of Science. And Snow. - In which I dissect an article I found about Winter Depression which I think gives me a free pass into Crazytown because I already have regular depression and I'm probably fucked. And then I got mad at that author and started swearing at him. Business as usual around here.

Monday, Monday. - Very rarely, someone finds a crack in my thick skin and brings me down. I apparently spent a good chunk of Monday morning crying because of a client. Which overshadows the fact that I fulfilled my life dream of learning the Thriller dance the previous weekend. Oh and then apparently my car got stuck in the snow. It was an awesome day.

Like a Man - First documented fascination with being a complete and total bitch and to return the favor to the male species. 

Late Nights & Early Mornings - Random musings about being locked inside my anxiety and sleeplessness. 

*untitled - short post where I try to put some of my depression into words. 

Why I Hate Foursquare - automated, personality-less, constant tweets. That pretty much summarizes it. It was getting pretty obnoxious for a while there.


Rawr. - Delightful fortune cookie fun and random afternoon thoughts.

2 Posts in 1 Day. Because I Can. - OMG my OCD kills me here. Also, that I am actually mad about the fact that we had to close early because of the snow. Who IS this bitch?

Moving On. - Trying to stop writing depressing posts... so I launch into a really convincing musement about whether I should start selling Pampered Chef. (Spoiler: I do.) 

In all seriousness, for once. - I can't really tell what this post was supposed to be about, but I think I was slipping into one of my low plateaus, depression-wise. And trying to find the words to explain what it feels like when I break.

Can we pretend I posted this at the beginning of the year like I meant to, instead of putting it off til now? Good. - My DECADE IN REVIEW post! Except I kept it short and sweet. Ten years is a long time, especially when it spans your formative years. 

Tumbling. - I got a Tumblr account and shared some of my brilliance with this blog. Also, I solve the raging question of whether or not it actually is a new decade. People of the world, you're welcome. I also finally admit to liking Lady Gaga.

Wait! Wait! I Have Another One! - I made another NY resolution to start dressing more like a grownup and less like a slob college student. It's August as of this writing and I'm going to call it a wash. Some days yes, some days no.

I Should Be Cleaning My Apartment Right Now But I Am Going To Waste Time On The Internet Instead - It's cold outside and the Febreeze fake candles are really potent. Also, a hilarious picture of our weather forecast AND a picture of a ginormous sandwich.

The Lemming Post - my 2009-in-review post.




DECEMBER 2009

auld lang syne & all that shiz - I'm old and crochety and I don't love New Year's Eve and what's the point if you don't have someone to kiss at midnight? I stayed in this year. Obviously.

An Exercise in Futility
 - New Year's Resolutions are stupid because I'm lazy but here are some things I want to do better next year.

For Someone Else - I stop being vain and narcissistic for a day and loan my space to a different blogger who needed some emotional support from the People of the Internet.

Christmas: Epilogue - A brief recap of Christmas. (Includes a photo of funny hats.)

*I Wonder How Many Times I Can Accidentally Swear In A Christmas-Themed Post
 - I fucking love It's a Wonderful Life.

You Win Some, You Lose Some - interesting images to sum up my mood. Grammar nazism and a snowstorm threatening to Grinch my Christmas.

In Which I Blather Incoherently About The Same Shit As Always - Warning: Contains Angst. Probably winter-triggered loneliness and irritation and a brief ego trip about how I'm used to getting what I want because that is simply how I operate - I don't give up until I get it. Only instead of accolades and good grades, it is more abstract things that I want now. And then I bemoan my craptastic love life for a little bit. The usual.

*"You're Gonna Make It After All..." - Channeling my inner Mary Tyler Moore and reassuring myself. Reflections on my brain getting full and trying to organize my thoughts and how it's okay that I don't know where I'm going just right now. (Includes photos and a link to the cheesy theme song that gets stuck in my head a lot.)

Today Sucks. I'm Going Back to Bed. Again.
 - I'm sick and it's blizzarding. And then I swear a lot.

Extreme Home Makeover, Blog Edition - I changed my blog layout and was very proud of myself for modifying my template without blowing up the Internet. Includes a before and after screenshot.

And This Is Why I Drink - A bitchfest! As follows: sick of my mother talking shit about my father and her drama queen antics, my neighbor smokes a lot of pot and it permeates my apartment, dragging my feet about growing a pair and letting some boys down easy, holidays = stressstressstress, and the inevitable decline of the diet and workout regimen that I almost got the hang of.

Cookiethon II: Revenge of the Cocoa - I made some awesome cookies and posted pictures of them. Bow down before my domestic prowress! (Includes photos, but sadly, not the recipe. Sorry.)

I Think It Might Be Blaspheming To Call This a Christmas Miracle, But I Might Anyway - I finally acquired a grown-up pair of snowboots and I was beyond giddy when they showed up on my doorstep after only a few days. (Includes photo.)

Cookiethon 2009
 - Photojournalistic entry about my cooking endeavors as I bake my favoritest cookies in the entire world. (Includes photos. Obviously.)

Hope: Not Just a Campaign Slogan - I hate all those acronym-based sites (FML, MLIA, ETC.) and they annoy me, but I liked this one.

One Monday This Week Was Enough, Thankyouverymuch - snow days throwing off my sense of what day it is, free burritos, the arrival of the Christmas cards that I designed myself and pangs of sadness that I don't design anymore, pre-belt testing nervousness, why I like to straighten my hair, and why I am paranoid of leaving things out around my cat.

Snow & Angst. Snangst.
 - 10-14" of snow in a single snowstorm sucks a lot. And I'm still poor. And I'm snowed in. And I'm starting to get blog envy.

F-Words - My car is leaking oil like a sieve and we're supposed to get a giant snowstorm and I overdrew my bank account but at least my jeans fit today.

I'm So Vain, I Probably Think This Blog Is About Me - Update on my attempt at a diet, so far so good? Also: my "modeling" career with our apparel division, boosting my status to cover girl of a collegiate apparel mini-catalog. (Includes photos.)

I Suck at Titles - more bitching about exhaustion, and inane updates on how I am attemping to count calories and exercise and for real guys I'm gonna do it this time... and a random tangent about why I like to write and how I never really fit in as a kid. I dunno.

*(Yes, We Are STILL On This.) - Bemoaning my unrequited enamoration with The Boy I Have Been Wanting To Be With For Over A Year. I am at a stalemate and the status quo is toying with my emotions. A fairly therapeutic blog post. Also, I weigh in on the line from When Harry Met Sally: A man and a woman can never really be friends. Biology complicates things.

NOVEMBER 2009

Bloglets - A compendium of randomness: relief at finally having a full 40-hr week paycheck back, I don't quite understand the point of Christmas cards but still feel obligated to send them now that I am a grownup, is it okay to reuse a rejection if someone did it better than you could?, more vague angst, a vow to get in shape and thus a purchase of a Pilates DVD.

Hilarious Video, Shameless Plugs, and the Like - a batch of my coworkers-slash-friends entered the 12-second Mountain Dew commercial contest and their video is friggin' awesome and you should watch it. (Includes video.)

*Just Another Manic Monday - A pissed off, insomnia-fueled rant-fest. 1. I went home-home for my girly doctor visit and was quite annoyed at their outdated-by-five-years records, also, speculums are evil. But my hometown bank ladies are super nice and that made my day better and cemented my loyalty to them rather than a national chain. AND THEN! This is my favorite part. I get all cranky at the guy who assumed I would be swooning all over him and expressed my irritation in no less than seven paragraphs. I was genuinely OFFENDED by his advances. (Note to all future suitors: arrogance will get you absolutely nowhere with me.) And then I get all "I am woman hear me roar" and then I concluded that I probably didn't need a therapist because I managed to work out quite a few issues over the course of this post.

Petty Annoyances and Awkward Situations - I got blindsided by a guy "friend" declaring his feelings for me. I was not pleased by this development. A long rant ensued.

Brainpurge - A backlog of things I apparently meant to blog about sooner. A few minor decoration projects in my apartment and the realization that I am perfectly content with where I am in my life and I wouldn't change anything. Also: I confess that I purposely highlight pictures where I look good. Because I am extremely narcissistic. Then I complain that people are wanting to set me up and it is awkward and even though there is nothing wrong with the guys that apparently are interested, the butterflies just weren't there. Also: Christmas has barfed all over Target and I was not pleased by this. Also: some reminiscence about sports and how I used to be in shape and now I'm not. Also: the Chinese placemat totally told me that me and The Boy should be together. Also: my cat is annoying me. Also: rambling.

Pity Party, Table For One - I feel grossly underappreciated at work and I don't mind working a lot, I just want a thank you now and then. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll lose whatever it is that makes me tick and I'll turn into one of those people that only cares about money.

For Veteran's Day
 - For my tribute post, a link to a heartbreakingly beautiful article and some pics of the soliders in my life - my two grandfathers and my cousin.

Not To Be Cliche, but FML - Anxiety attacks suck.

[Insert Heavy Sigh Here] - I'm procrastinating by blogging while I should be writing an Official Statement for my mother's divorce trial from her psychotic husband (NOT my dad, I might add.) Also, an awesome photo of my Halloween costume.

Long Story Short, I Guess I Really Just Want To Be Wearing Sweatpants Right Now - PMSy and grouchy and cranky that people dare to involve me in social obligations because I am tired and this interferes with my ability to be a hermit.

OCTOBER 2009

Bloggoween - I decided to go as Robin Sparkles for Halloween from the show How I Met Your Mother. If you have never seen it, I have helpfully provided videos for you. Pretty much awesome. (Includes video.)

Bad to Worse and Back to Okay - Apparently I had a bad day and didn't want to talk about it. Instead, I posted a couple pictures from a Halloween photo shoot I helped a friend with/modeled for. (Includes photos.)

Harumph - I had my very first migraine ever and it sucked a lot.

*At Least When You Hit Rock Bottom, There's Nowhere Left to Fall - Onset of an ever-so-fun bout of depression, pondering my loneliness and the rumor that it finds you when you give up, and burgeoning workaholism. Like, a lot so. Like, super-stress-inducingly so. Like, I even skipped a vacation (and my cousin's wedding) because I was so busy.

I'm Crazy/Awesome. Which Means I'm Both Crazy and Awesome.
 - Bitching about my hurty knee and talking about how much I have to crank up my awesome level at work and that my job is sometimes the only thing I have that validates me.

NEW POST WHAT WHAT - um, this is a pointless filler post. I don't even know why it's there.

Internet Revue: Randomly Beautiful Legos and the Cutest Teef Ever - Another installment of cool shiz I found on the Internet. Includes a site called "Random Got Beautiful" which is a fun color experiment site, a link to a blog post where NYC scenes were created out of legos, and the extremely charming "My Milk Toof" blog/art project. (Includes photos & links.)

SEPTEMBER 2009

*The Good, The Bad, and the Pathetic - I LEARNED TO PARALLEL PARK. This was an epic moment in my life. I also bought a maternity dress because I was desperate for a simple black dress and I'm too fat for regular sizes and too small for plus sizes. (You can't tell.) Lastly, I got distracted reading my friend's horror erotica novella by a missing apostrophe in the middle of a sex scene.

25 is the New 21 - I turned 25. This is pretty epic. I talk about this for a little bit and recap my birth anniversary celebration at the local brewery/pub (and how I was proud of myself for NOT drunkenly hanging all over the guy I was enamored with - in fact, I was very well behaved) and then post a picture of the gorgeous cake my friend made for me. And then I talk about money and how I don't have any and then get caps-locky about the return of Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks.

Internet Revue: Twisted Princesses, Audrey Hepburn, and Awesome Things like Polaroids - Another collection of things I found on the Internet. First up to bat, the 1000 Awesome Things site/blog that will give you warm fuzzies unless you have no soul. Next a series of "reimagined" posters for classic movies (I posted a few of my favorites - I'm a sucker for old movies, and movie posters). THEN! The Poladroid app that takes your digital photos and simulates them to look like they were taken on an old-school instant camera. Lastly, some artwork of an illustrator who took a dark twist on the classic Disney Princesses - very cool. (Includes photos & links.)

Internet Revue: My Little Ponies, Old Loves, Mix Tapes, and Fifty Photographs - I believe this is my first attempt to highlight some of the sweet stuff I find while trolling the Internet. The Fifty States Project is a collection of photos from, well, fifty photographers around the country, assigned to take a photo to represent that month's theme as well as capture the essence of their state. Wordle is a fun toy to make a word cloud from your blog's most common words. (I think my biggest words were things like "just" "know" "like" "even" "still" "really"... haha.). A Mix-Tape USB drive which I think I had actually seen in Wired previously but that I thought was extremely cool because, well, I get nostalgic. A site/tumblog called "Dear Old Love" with pithy little statements, some sweet and some sad, aimed at former lovers. And... MY LITTLE PONY SUPERHERO MODS. These are the frickin' coolest things ever.

Without Further Ado - I unveil my new blog project at http://mythirtythings.com/ - even if it's not totally 100% ready to go yet.

*That Girl - Oh lord I am so embarrassed at this. I went tailgating for the first time ever, right? And got ragingly drunk, right? And then I hung ALL OVER the guy I was pretty much in love with and it was sad and pathetic and everyone was oh so completely aware of it and I even made drunken proclamations to them that I knew he wasn't interested and I didn't caaaare. On the bright side, everyone was drunk so it was probably all moot. I'm making myself sound much worse than it was, but that's what I get for summarizing in hindsight. Still, it was really fun and I wouldn't erase the day for anything.

*A Look Back, Part 1 - I finally hauled my scanner and laptop home while up on a family visit with the sole intention of scanning copies of some of my grandparents' old photos. I start by explaining my reverence for bygone eras - I am fascinated by the WWII era - and musing over how different women look then versus now. They were so beautiful back then; we're all slutty and skanky now. Comparitively. I talk about both my sets of grandparents but this is the first installment where I primarily introduce my maternal grandparents and highlights some of their wedding photos and such. If you like old photos and lore, you'll like this post. If you don't, skip it. It's possibly only interesting to me. (Includes photos).

Sniffle, Sniffle - I whine about having a cold. Seriously, I'm only including it because I am dedicated to this being a COMPLETE archive. Lame.

Willpower FAIL
 - HyVee is having a sale on Ben & Jerry's. I regret nothing. [That's the entirety of the post. I loves me some Ben & Jerry's. Yum.]

AUGUST 2009

Addendum (Things That Make Me Happy) - this was a followup to a severely crankypants post. In it I reveal my discovery of The Bloggess and post a picture of my booth at an arts & crafts show that I participated in (and sold basically nothing).

Caution: Today's Post is Heavy on the F-Bombs - So, I was apparently having a bad day, which was undoubtedly enhanced by some wicked annoying insomnia. I talk briefly about the art show I did and then launch into a tirade about incompetency and inconveniences from the apartment complex I just moved out of and how they were trying to bill me for something even though I didn't live there anymore, I dunno. The f-bombs show up in all their glory in the next paragraph about how I'm so beyond broke it's not even funny.

Issues, I Have Them - I reflect on my art that I used to make, and how I might do an art show, but while I think I'm awesome, I have massive inferiority complexes, and how I need a website, and apparently I forgot how to end sentences because it's very rambly.

If Brevity Is the Soul of Wit... - ...then this blog sucks because my posts are ridiculously long-winded. And then I get angsty. And then I stop talking because I was making a conscious effort to write a short post.

*When Did I Get So Old? - Guys, I talk about my FEELINGS in this one. Mostly reflecting on the fact that life is flying by and reminiscing about college and remembering how I used to feel like I was on top of the world and could do anything... Invincibility and optimism... Feeling at home, somewhere I belonged... It's kind of a sappy post but it encompasses a lot of the struggle of why life beyond college is harder than you expect, and basically this summary is shit, so just go read it instead.

SuperHappyFunTime - Picture post of me and my girls. I may or may not have posted these because my hair looked really good. But the pictures are really cute.

*And Now For Something Completely... The Same - Fall is starting to approach and for some reason it left me sulky instead of happy, and I eventually get to my point which is, I'm still sad about the emptiness created by the Rejection and how I miss my friend and how I hate wanting something I can't have. And then I suddenly do a 180 and get really pissed and talk more about the content of the previous post.

*"Be Less." - An extremely agitated post that came out as I finally processed my emotions from the previous night when one of my guy friends was trying to give me "helpful" pointers on picking up guys but instead of advice, I felt like I got a slap in the face and was, instead, in not so many words, painted to be an anal-retentive control-freak that no guy would touch with a ten-foot pole. Which may or may not be true, but the point is, it hurt. I may be intimidating but I'm not going to change for some guy. (Ironically, this same guy friend hit on me months later. And I was pissed about that too.)

The Blog! It lives! - I return to my blog after an apparent massive tweeting spree and rejoice in the end of the maternity leave I was covering, commented on how I was essentially complimented by upper management but made to look like a teacher's pet to my coworkers, and then I talk about my new apartment and why it's awesome.

JULY 2009

Here We Go Again - True to form, July continues to be angsty. I returned my hair color from the auburn it was masquerading as back to blonde which went strawberry blonde again but whatever. And then my car broke and started leaking coolant all over the place which is BAD. And then I got angsty because I didn't immediately become non-vulnerable again after the Big Rejection. 

We Interrupt This Blog To Bring You a Non-Angsty Post - I went to the dentist. I had my friend color my hair. I went for a run. All very productive, healthy things. See, I'm all right.

Angst Week Continues on the Kelly Channel - I'm still pissy about being rejected. And I'm mad at myself for falling for a friend because that's just all sorts of complicated.

Return of the Angst - For the first time ever, a client made me cry. To be fair, I was very emotionally fragile anyway, but it still sucked. I then proceeded to announce that this boy must clearly be defective because who the hell wouldn't want me? I'm awesome. 

*[Insert Angsty Title Here] - This is where I finally confess that I have had feelings for a guy friend of mine for a long time, even though I've kept it to myself for months... and the only reason I even disclosed it now, was because my heart had just gotten smashed into a bunch of tiny little pieces. Because I told him how I felt, and he didn't want me. He said no. It was a polite rejection, probably the best one I ever could have hoped for, but part of me thought that, you know, maybe. Maybe I had a chance. Which is why I bothered to move on it in the first place. It's very uncharacteristic of me. I'm very aloof when it comes to the opposite sex because I don't like getting hurt and I hate being vulnerable. And I couldn't ever read him and instead of trying to figure out what all the mixed signals meant, I took a breath and let it out and it backfired on me. This isn't one of my favorite posts, obviously, but it's pretty significant because this is a recurring issue mentioned on here for months afterward.

JUNE 2009

I don't even know. - Largely vague and nonsensical post... I allude to a post I'd started on my reaction to Michael Jackson's death which I never did post because it got pre-empted by issues in my personal life... I display my trademark vagueness while hemming and hawing about being afraid of taking chances... My favorite thing about this post is one of the comments it garnered from one of my friends: "One more post completely void of information but full of words and I'll slap you my damn self." That pretty much sums it up. 

TGIF - A Friday post surprisingly devoid of much intensity even though I had to work four hours late and apparently had had a panic attack earlier in the week. 

An Exercise In Controlled Angst - Words come spilling out and I vent frustrations on how everything is trying to crush me and I can't hold the world up on my shoulders anymore and I'm struggling to keep a smile on my face and to keep from buckling.

Because, Sometimes, Literal Translations Are Just Simply Awesome - I found the video of the literal translation of "Total Eclipse of the Heart." If you haven't seen it, go watch it immediately. (Includes video.)

*Life is Life - Sounding off on the murder of an abortion provider in Kansas. Includes a few links to people more eloquent than I. Why is it okay to kill an adult in the name of saving babies? A human life is a human life. I will never understand.

MAY 2009

Bits & Pieces of This & That - Summer randomness - the joys of leaving work on time, getting sweaty in taekwondo, hitting some balls at the batting cage, and bidding on godawful ugly dresses on eBay. 

Shiny New Internet Toy - I got really excited about the Shutterfly photo-sharing site. Possibly because it snagged me fifty free prints. But also because it was a place to dump photos that wasn't facebook.

Know What I Mean, Not What I Say... ;) - I kind of backpedaled a bit to clarify some things on a previous post. Religion is a touchy subject. It's not something I feel strongly enough about to willingly offend others - and, in this case, unwillingly. Also, I learned an exciting new piece of grammar that had eluded me all my life.

Sunday... Monday... WAIT... - Lazy weekend post, I guess. I allude to some sort of sketching project that I may or may not share with everyone but I guess I never did and now I can't remember what it would have been. Ah, well.

Pseudo-Intellectual Bullshit, and Other Fun Weekend Pastimes - I started packing. Which is always a slow process because something always distracts me. In this particular instance, it happened to be my collection of hardcover books. My PostSecret books got me all existential about, well, secrets, and then I started musing about my life in general. And then some pet peeves. And then how much I love my job and how it has changed my general outlook and made me a nicer person. (Hey, nobody wants to be a bitch forever, right?). Then I start musing about the concept of fate and somehow tie it in to religion (oh - free will vs fate - I guess it's a logical segue). 

At Least It's Nice Outside - You know what's annoying? Fire alarms in your apartment complex after you work a 12-hour shift. You know what's less annoying? Hot firemen. 

Hey - is that - THE SUN? - No, really. It was rainy and cloudy for weeks. It's the little things, people.

Sunday Blues - A catch-up post after not blogging for a few days. I just started covering a maternity leave at work and was starting to feel the strain of doing the work of two people... and declared my resolve to still be 100% awesome despite that. My social life is less than what I would like it to be, I resign myself to working a lot and not having a hell of a lot of fun, and then I let my mind wander and get all depressed. Super fun!

Bueller... Bueller... Anyone... - Returned from an unintential hiatus, talked about work for a bit and how I was going to start covering a maternity leave, mentioned how I kept getting earthworms in my apartment when it rained a lot (yes, it was squicky), and then I start talking about softball like it is one of the great loves of my life. Maybe it is.

*Saying Goodbye (REPOST) - Originally posted in May 2006 - an entry I had written after one of my best friends was killed in a car accident on her way home from college. I will probably never ever be able to write anything as heartwrenching and honest as the things I wrote immediately after the fact, once my brain was able to produce thoughts and words again, so I wanted to bring this piece over to my new blog home and share it. I can't even read it without crying - even now. She was a truly amazing person and I wish everyone could have known her.

In Pictures - a few pictures of me with my friend Michelle, who passed away in 2006, a day before the anniversary of her death.  (Includes photos).

*It Never Gets Easier - There is a lot of trivial fluff on this blog. Not today. I find myself grappling with the death of one of my best friends as the third anniversary of her death approaches. It's one of those emotionally paralyzing subjects for me. No matter where I go or where I end up, I will always wonder what it would be like if she were still here. I'd probably be a much better person than I am today, I have no doubts. She brought out the best in us and once she was gone, I let myself fall apart. This is one of those important entries, to me, because it helps me a little bit each year, to talk about it and remember. I close it out with a borrowed segment from an old blog of mine, from that year, from that time. 

APRIL 2009

BRAINPURGE - Going batty from the weather, getting annoyed by the swine flu hysteria (the initial run of it, when nobody was actually getting infected by it, but everyone was buying antibacterial gel and surgical masks like it was Armageddon), I went to the Senior Portfolio Night at my alma mater, ran into some old professors - who remembered me - and immediately went into a frenzy of second-guessing myself and my life and I miss studios and graphic design. And my ex-boyfriend keeps texting me. Gah. 

*I Usually Hang Out in 5 to 8 - I made a stress scale. It is awesome. 

Softball, Ice Cream, and Fiscal Responsibility - Reviewing my athletic endeavors (moving up to the intermediate class in taekwondo, starting another season of softball coaching), drooling over a new CHEAP AND LOW FAT ice cream that I found that is amazing, and attributing life choices to the Bad Idea Bears in Avenue Q. "You're on a budget - buy in bulk!"

*Ghosts & Memories - You know how everyone has that one defining relationship that really fucks them up? Mine decided to contact me and open old wounds and "apologize" and set things right. This was extremely unsettling, to say the least, and this boy still unnerves me, but if it weren't for him, I would probably still be a naive, clueless, spineless girl and not the cynical, self-protective, sometimes-bitchy fierce lady that we all know and love. Even though I was over it (it was three, four years ago?), some emotional scars that I thought were long since healed, did get a little bit ripped open and I was unsettled for days afterwards. The worst thing was, he was sincere. He was sorry. And I know, in my heart, that if I wanted to, I could snap my fingers and I would have everything now that I wanted then. But I feel nothing. And I hate that he disrupted my peace. Asshole.

Dazed and Confused - Cryptic vagueness which is explained in the next post, a fun time had by all at the annual campus festival of my alma mater which delights me to no end and annoyed my friend who was stuck in law school in Boston and was beyond mad that she couldn't make it and had to hear us tweet about it. Which is actually nowhere in the post at all but her comment reminded me of that. Anyway, this festival is a fun tradition at my school and I talk about it and I was a little teensy bit annoyed that it was mildly overshadowed by a huge emotional WTF. 

This Post Needs a Title But I Can't Think Of One So This is All It Is - April is full of musical events in Central Iowa (yay) which I talk about (whee!) and also my belt testing went very well.

"Queer Eye for the Hawkeye" - Jon Stewart's segment on gay marriage in Iowa. I love him. (Includes video). 

Anti-Antibiotics - MEDICAL RANT! You know what sucks? When the antibiotics you are taking to make you better, make you sick. And you'd rather just curl up and die then continue taking them and fuck whatever it was you had before, it can just STAY. Then my friend sent me a quote from Jeff Foxworthy which amazingly enough has actually led people to my blog. I'm pretty sure people who are into Jeff Foxworthy are not the type who would be amused or appreciative of my blog. Meh.

*Big News in a Little State - Okay, this is my favorite post I have ever written (I think) and it is absolutely glorious if not a little heavy on the expletives. As you MAY have heard, Iowa legalized gay marriage. Unanimously. In Iowa. Obviously, this is beyond awesome. I have helpfully outlined the ruling with my own translation for you (and paraphrased the Iowa Supreme Court ruling as well) and why this is clearly the most obvious thing in the entire world and I will cut you if you disagree with me. I actually did pretty good with not tripping too much over the legal jargon. I'm really quite proud of this post. Read it, snuggle it, share it with your friends. Unrelated, I finally learned that it is spelled "segue" and not "segueway" or whatever the hell I was trying to make it do. who knew? Also, reading the comments, apparently I used the word "asswaffle" in there somewhere. That should tell you how awesome this post is.

Peepageddon - You know what happens when you put lots of Peeps in the microwave? Here is a video that we made.

*Inxtrovert? - Despite what appearances may lead you to believe (and people actually laugh at me when I say this) - I am an introvert. Textbook, really. It's a shame the emo movement didn't take hold sooner - I would have been a quality emo chick in high school. Angst, woe, etc. Anyway this post kind of explains why I have a hard time talking about things. Like, important things, anyway. It does not, however, explain why I sometimes make up words.

The Good, The Bad, and The Random - My favorite band is coming to Ames, my friend out in Boston got to go see our shared favorite comedian, and Peep Jousting is completely awesome. (Includes photos & links.)

MARCH 2009

Saturday Ramblings - Judging by the opening paragraph, I wrote this while intoxicated. And while the post is pretty coherently written, it's not really about anything, which is kind of my specialty. I think I am resisting very hard to not talk about my mom issues, if memory serves. Anyway, it's a nice little classic rambly post. 

Random Findings: West Side Story Edition - this photo is hilarious. That is all.

Pet Peeve Ranty Storytime: Artistic Compromise - I used to be an artist. Sometimes I still am. Just enough to be really, really fussy about maintaining artistic integrity to any medium. This rant serves mostly as an outlet against Hollywood which is spiraling down the crapper, because they are so willing to bend to make a few dollars. The thing that set me off was an article I read about how they were going to retool Watchmen because people didn't "get" it. I wasn't one of the psychotic fangirls - I'd never read the source graphic novel until after I'd seen the movie, I had no background knowledge, I just knew that it looked interesting. I got the movie. I thought it was well done. But, it wasn't your traditional Hollywood superhero movie. And so they are going to cater to the lowest common denominator. See what is going on here? I'm getting all annoyed again and I've barely even referenced the post I am supposed to be summarizing. I hate people.

Ready, Set, Blog! - I subleased my apartment, gave an indication of rumblings of mom drama, and had a shitfit about UPS being jerkholes to me. And I got Talked To at work about saying bad things about UPS since they're technically one of our vendors and I was all CENSORSHIIIIIIP but I didn't want to lose my job so I removed my tweets and bitched on my blog instead. 

Moral Conundrums, And Other Such Pain in the Ass Things - In which I explain to you why, even though it pains me greatly, I cannot blog about the specifics of the situation(s) with my mother. In case you were ever wondering. Don't worry, someday it will come out in the memoir I have to write. Unless I've repressed all the memories by then.

What Now, Bitches? - awesomeness. Just awesomeness. (Includes photo.)

Yesterday, In Review - I ate a Peep. It was gross. I cannot believe I liked them as kids. Also, I got really drunk the night before and may or may not have tried to use my cleavage to win an argument. Also, my mom sent my cat a birthday card. And I got a letter from one of my old best friends that I sort of fell out of touch with, which I didn't really go into detail about, but was kind of significant anyway.

The Evaluation of the Glass Half Full/Half Empty Scenario is Entirely Dependent on What Is In The Glass - I am overwhelmed by attempting to focus on the "big picture" and I am also very uncomfortable in my own skin I feel. I feel ugly and I hate myself.

Life Lately - Our company froze wage increases which means I will not be getting a raise at my one-year anniversary in April. Which sucks when you are financially six feet under. I got my hair cut. And! PROM! (Grown-up Prom, silly.) Retro awesome 80's prom with lots of beer. My dress even had shoulder pads. And my hair was huge without having to do much. You should visit this post solely for the pictures. 

FEBRUARY 2009

Hi-Ya! - I got my yellow belt in taekwondo and I did a lot of baking. And then I bought Madonna gloves. For Prom.

Pop Culture Commentary: SparkleFest 09 - My friends and I went to see Twilight, entirely because we were morbidly curious. Also, I linked to my favorite favorite favorite set of reading material on the Internet - a snarky running commentary on all the Twilight books. And the movie. I don't like Twilight but holy crap these make me so happy. Also, my friend made cupcakes for the occasion. Vampire and werewolf cupcakes. (Includes photo & links).

Brush With Fame - I got to meet David Cook from American Idol even though I never watch the show or even knew who he was. He was kinda hot. I think we should procreate. (Includes photos).

BLOG! The Musical - Opened with a horoscope from the Onion (which I am including in the summary only because there is a chance I will want to find that again someday)... resisted going on a Valentine's Day Rant... my cat still doesn't have a name. 

Eureka! - I had an epiphany moment where I felt like I really and truly understood the nuances and mechanics of my job. It was awesome. 

My Insignificantly Lame But Crappy Week, Part Infinity - Car problems that I can't afford to fix; one of my writers for the website that I was a contributing editor for totally ripped off an entire article from a different website and pissed me off; my favorite pen vendor sent me more pens (this was the high point); discouragement about money.

Historic Occasion: A Monday That Didn't Completely Suck - Spark plugs have boots, which I learned while the fuel pump relay (whatever that is) got replaced in my car. My protein levels are super low but fixable. I fell on the ice. It was a short post. 

EFFBOMBS! or: today really sucked. - My car wouldn't start and I got rejected from plasma donation (my only extra source of income) because of my fucking protein levels. I spent a really long time discussing both of these. And then I apparently crawled back into bed and called it a day.

JANUARY 2009

the plot thickens... (wait, what? there was a plot?) - As soon as I resigned my lease, an awesome, perfect, close-to-work, cheaper apartment became available to me. This obviously causes angst and distress. I begin looking for a subleaser. 

An Inconvenient Room - Bitching about having to share a communal laundry room and I had an awesome/relevant panel from A Softer World but that image appears to be broken so, boo.

Still Makes Me Smile - Barack, I heart you. Internet, I heart you more. (Includes photo.)

word purge - being vague about something that makes me want to take off and go for a run. I have no idea what I was talking about. Probably a boy. I dunno. That's usually where my brain goes when it gets vague. I'm totally just speculating. My keyboard is missing letters - the keys are there, but the letters have rubbed off. It amuses me. I struggle with how open I want to be on this blog, given that I don't know who reads it. You know, every blogger's dilemma. 

Every. Single. Time. - Cats are bitches.

Effff Winter - Iowa winters suck and it's cold and I had to buy a new battery for my car. 

Involuntarily Introspective - oooh, an existential crisis. I am losing myself to the Internet, I hide behind it. I want a roommate but I don't want a roommate. I hate moving but I want a cheaper apartment. Or an apartment with a washer and dryer. Then I started reminiscing about college, as I am inclined to do... how I fit in there, how I am small in the world again out here. I am lost without my Plan, without my goals. What happens when you meet all those goals? Then what? I got as far as I had planned out, now what do I do? Kind of rambly but therapeutic. 

Not to go all emo or anything, but... - my kitten's mama cat is still at the shelter and it made me really, really sad and I really, really considered driving all the way there to adopt her. (Includes photos.) (she did eventually get adopted).

Crackberry Snow-Bitch - I got a Blackberry and I didn't love it. I mean, I do now, but I didn't at first. A boy from college that I always knew had a crush on me, finally confessed it. Even though he now lives two states away. I question whether I still have the right to bitch about the lack of quality men and/or to be picky, when I am clearly running low on options and tossing perfectly good ones aside. 

Resolutions Slash Goals Slash Stuff I Wanna Do This Year - a list of New Year's Resolutions that all failed miserably in hindsight. ;)

*Year In Review - All the highlights and lowlights and photos from 2008. Which was, in fact, quite a busy and eventful and significant year. 

DECEMBER 2008

My New "Nephews"
 - my sister got new cats. Here is a picture of them.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree... - My ghetto kitty-proof Christmas tree. (Includes photo.)

"I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight for your right to say it" - referencing/reflecting on a blog post by Neil Gaiman on free speech after a dude from my own state of Iowa got arrested for owning manga comic books because the postal worker who delivered it decided it depicted underage sex. Because, you know. It's a slippery slope. You take away some freedoms here and there, and pretty soon, you're chipping away at all of them.

My Pretties, Let Me Show You Them - some pretty earrings I acquired on Etsy that I was quite excited about. (Includes photos).

NOVEMBER 2008

Nerdery Alert - a long-winded spiel on my nostalgia for old-school Disney movies and the lost art of hand-drawn animation.

Black Friday, or, OMG 2 POSTS IN ONE DAY WTFBBQ!!!
 - um, apparently talking about Black Friday and how I made a point of not going shopping that day. Except I did, just later that day. I don't know.

Minnesooota - Recapping my mini-vacay of a weekend up in the Twin Cities including my very first ever visit to IKEA. And whining about driving for three hours.

Pens, Glorious Pens! - I got really, really excited about a rainbow assortment of pen samples sent to me by a Swiss vendor. (Includes photos).

iWrite - Being self-centered and enjoying the fact that my blurbs were taking up the majority of the homepage of the Des Moines Music Coalition because I am was a Music Writer dammit. (Includes photo.)

"We need to talk about your flair..." - Remember when facebook apps were sorta cool? I liked the flair board application because I like witty buttons. Even though these weren't real. But I thought I would share them anyway. (Includes photo).

Today's Letter is E, and... - the word was "exhaustion." Funny how some things never change. In this post, I discuss how tired I am, plasma donation, an upcoming excursion to Minneapolis that means inadvertently blowing off a visiting friend from Omaha, and holycrapChristmasiscoming.

*Offspring Onspring - A classic post of exasperation on the continued unraveling of my former good relationship with my mother because of the fact that I don't even know who she is anymore and her crazy is taking over AND I am tired of being sucked into the middle of her drama. I believe I compared her to the hypothetical situation of California breaking off into the ocean and floating away.

Hallefreakinglujah - Maintenance supposedly fixed my earthworm problem in my apartment. Celebratory post.

Oooh, something shiny! - Snippet post discussing the following: new haircuts, pink yogurt lids, why fundraisers don't make sense, earthworm corpses in my apartment, and oops I forgot to take the tags off the sweater I wore today.

Emo Purge - In which I lament about being broke, discuss how anal-retentive I am about my album artwork on iTunes, ponder the phenomenon of everyone getting married to the point where I don't even recognize the names in my facebook friend list anymore, then getting sad about how I haven't really maintained most of these relationships and a lot of friendships have kind of drifted and faded, and how envious I was of one of our design interns who was spending the semester doing a study abroad in Rome - the very study abroad that I passed up on when I had the chance. Woe.

Back to My Normal Drivel - Reiterating my dislike of politics, preemptive concern about pending Seasonal Affective Disorder, shitty Internet connections, and why why why am I now at an age where cute men are running around wearing wedding bands. Sigh.

Yes We Can - Waking up refreshed and hopeful after the Big Election.

Seeing Blue - The (awesome) 2008 election that brought Barack Obama into the White House and I may or may not have cried during his speech. May or may not be a sappy post.

*Rant, Redux - a "reposting of a verbal shitfit" that I wrote back in September in all its glory. Topics covered include: women's reproductive rights (and why I strongly believe in contraception) gay marriage, the right to choose, and why I hate Sarah Palin. May or may not be laced with expletives. ;)

Addendum - Pictures from Halloween, and my final, official Top Costumes list of 2008.

License to Whore, Part 2 - My observations from Halloween. Clever costumes, retina-searing costumes, and how I managed to actually re-wear a bridesmaid's dress without being cliche.

License to Whore, Part 1 - Short post on my observations of the Top 3 costumes of Halloween 2008.

OCTOBER 2008

H-A-Double L-O, W-Double E-N, Spells Halloween! - Did any of you guys learn that song in elementary school? I swear it still helps me to spell it. Anyway. I discuss trying to pull together a costume, and, more importantly: I dress up my cat. (Includes photos!)

Life Observation #475 - Facebook is judging me for being single.

My Feets are Famous - My friend Niki featured my sweet silver sparkly shoes on one of her designy blog posts.

Smorgasblog - patented collection of randomness, touching on the following topics: one of my best friends ran a marathon, being worn out at work, the woes of having to rely on communal co-op laundry machines and oh how I long for my own washer and dryer, flirting with the idea of getting an iPhone even though I hate AT&T and I'm broke, my social obligations are sending me to the poor house, and dammit why must all my friends move away, because it makes me sad.

Rat Race Fender-Bender & Near-Oops Experiences - I almost got in two minor car accidents because I was too exhausted to pay full attention to what I was doing. I decided that this wasbad.

Black Thursday - Sad and paranoid about the layoffs my company was forced to implement... yet very, very relieved that I still had a job. It's actually quite traumatizing to be on either side of a company-wide layoff... I was really upset by this. This post is rather short, I didn't really know what to say, I was just kind of stunned.

Ah, dreamland... You make reality so very disappointing... - You know what's fun? Dreams that have plots like movies.

Help! Help! I'm trapped in my head! - Quickie post in the throes of restlessness and things I should be doing.

Personal Successes - I am very proud of myself because I learned how to function in heels.

Other People's Lives: Officially More Interesting Than My Own - a followup/update on my matchmaking endeavors from September.

Pet Peeve #327 - Note to all bands: None of your songs are really that fantastic that you need to put them on more than one of your albums. It's kind of lame. [No, really. That's the extent of the post. It still annoys me, too.]

Ahh, Nostalgia - One time, they sent the campus-police equivalent of the SWAT team to investigate a suspicious plastic bottle outside some student apartments. I found the old photo of two officers pointing a gun at a Gatorade bottle and posted it. STILL cracks me up. (Includes photo.)

SEPTEMBER 2008

It's My Party and I'll Pry If I Want To - My birthday was pretty blah as far as birthdays go, but I did walk away with a great story: with the assistance of one of my friends, we totally played matchmaker and intervened in my friend's love life and hooked her up with a cute guy we met while out celebrating.

Year 24 - I turned 24 and reflected on my life thus far. And then I posted a picture of my cat.

Post Partially Stolen From The Other Blog I'm Now Cheating On - My first REAL post - in which I confess to having had multiple blogs in the past (I'm such a blog slut), my reiteration of the fact that I hate the word "blog" and always have, a warning about my tendency to swear a lot, and a little bit about myself. Even though my readership consisted of about three of my friends who already know all these things. Meh.

Grr. - My very first post on my new Blogger blog (I had been using my deviantArt journal until this point with a brief affair with LiveJournal) and it's already crabby because some bitch stole my normal username on both Blogger and Wordpress.

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